All This And Heaven Too
by JBPones
Summary: After losing herself to Hannah Montana, Miley Stewart desperately tries to rediscover her own identity with the help of her new friend Lilly Truscott without revealing her secret. AU Liley.
1. Surface

**All This And Heaven Too**

**Chapter 1 – Surface**

* * *

She moved slyly from room to room, weaving through the intoxication and excitement. She seemed to float through the smoke. She felt like a ghost. Maybe she was.

The party bored her, like most of them tended to. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a gap between a wall and a large end table. She went to it and squeezed herself in. She sat there, resting her head against the cool wall, observing the atmosphere with a perspective that the partygoers would never understand. They were ignorant. They were oblivious. They would never know how pointless they all were.

"Oh my god, Hannah Montana?" She never looked up at the boy. He rambled on for several minutes before he got the idea that she wasn't listening and reluctantly returned to the party. Every so often people would notice her, but no one bothered her again until Jake Ryan slumped down on the wall in front of her. He didn't say a word, and he knew she wouldn't either. He only sat and smoked the joint that was expertly held between his perfectly manicured fingers. He passed it to her and she took a hit, inhaling with such routineness that she was bored before the smoke even left her lungs. She closed her eyes for a while and when she opened them again he was gone.

She decided it was time to ditch. Carefully, she left the party without being talked to. She walked down the hotel hallway to the elevator. The moment she pressed for the lobby, her legs gave up and she was back to sitting on the floor. The elevator traveled down for what seemed like forever. She had trouble keeping her eyes open. The elevator stopped at the lobby and the doors slid open. She didn't move, and eventually the doors closed and the elevator began travelling back up. When it stopped, a beautiful girl her age walked in with a suit case. The girl gave her one glance and that was it. She pressed for the first floor and took up residence standing in the other corner. They reached the lobby, and the girl already had one foot out of the doors before she turned and asked, "Do you need help?"

When she didn't answer, the girl kneeled by her side. She stared down at her, examining her, but there was a softness to her gaze. She was concerned, not star struck. The doors slid shut but the elevator stayed motionless.

"What's your name? Mine's Lilly Truscott." The girl said quietly, as if not to scare her.

She couldn't remember the last time someone asked who she was. She curiously looked over Lilly. The girl was naturally blonde, tan, and had beautiful blue eyes. At the lack of a response, Lilly reached out and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I'll just assume you're okay enough to you know your own name, but do you know what room you're staying in? Or maybe someone I can call for you? Do you have a cell phone on you? I promise I won't take it or anything, I just want to help you."

"I don't need help." It was a reflex to say so.

Lilly raised her eyebrows. "I don't know if you know this, but you're sitting in a hotel elevator by yourself at four in the morning on a Sunday. And you kind of look like you haven't slept in days. And you kind of smell like you've been at a raging kegger all night."

"Sorry, I didn't know it was a crime to sit in an elevator." She pulled herself to her feet and pressed for the doors to open. She walked out, expecting Lilly to remain standing there, bewildered by her celebrity encounter. But when she reached the front doors, she became aware that Lilly was following her. She took an unplanned left and walked as quickly as she could. The cold foggy morning air hit her hard. She was shivering by the time she reached the first city bus stop bench. She sat, pulling a packet of cigarettes out of one of her leather jacket's pockets and a lighter out of the other. Lilly dropped her suit case and sat down beside her on the bench as she lit one.

"That's bad for you." Lilly said, eyes on the passing cars before them.

"So is talking to strangers." She said back, feeling annoyed yet intrigued.

"You're not exactly a stranger to me though, are you?" Lilly glanced over at her. "I mean, I've known your name since I was twelve. I've listened to your music for like 5 years. I used to watch you guest star on_ Zombie High _with Jake Ryan. You were Zoronda, Princess of the Undead. _Dude_, _I slayed you once_; _don't make me slay you again_. That's like my childhood. Did you really date Jake Ryan back then?"

"Never." She answered, trying her best to appear uninterested in Lilly's attention that she inexplicably was beginning to enjoy.

"You were rumored to be together for years. Why'd you never clear it up?"

"Didn't care."

"Why not?"

She took a final drag on the cigarette before tossing it to the ground and crushing it under the heel of her boot. "You know, Lilly Truscott, there's a lot more to life than gossiping about who is dating who."

"Hey, I'm just trying to make conversation." Lilly crossed her arms. "You can choose the topic if you're so darn picky."

She bit her lip and thought it over. She hadn't talked this much to someone in months. She definitely hadn't had the interest to, at least. "Why are you leaving the _Tipton _at four in the morning on a Sunday?"

"I'm in the process of heading to the airport. I'm waiting on my cab. I called like forever ago, I don't know what's taking so long. I'm heading home to Malibu. I was here in Boston visiting my dad. My parents are divorced."

"He made you stay in a hotel?"

"No, he's staying here. He just travels a lot for his work and this was the only good time for both of us to hang out. And I'd never seen the East Coast before, so why not."

"You hang out with your father?" She asked, almost checking to make sure she heard the words right.

"Yeah, he's cool." Lilly smiled. "What, don't tell me you're too famous to chill with your dad."

She bit her lip again. "I haven't seen my father in four months."

"Oh." Lilly was at a loss for words.

She couldn't take the silence or the judgment, and especially not the pity. "What do you do in Malibu?"

"I'm about to start my senior year at Seaview High School."

"No, no. What do you _do_."

Lilly looked over at her carefully. "I go to the beach. I surf. I swim. I love the ocean, it's my favorite place in the world. I like to skate, too. I'm an outdoorsy person. What about you? What do you do in…wait, where are you even from?"

"Tennessee."

"Where do you live now? New York? LA? Both?" Lilly grinned. She was teasing, but she did it so casually. So nicely.

"My address is in LA."

"Your address." Lilly nodded. She seemed to understand that LA was no home to her. "Well, where's your heart at?"

"I don't know." She answered truthfully. She thought maybe she should have said Tennessee, but how could her heart be in a place that she hadn't thought of in years?

"Well, what do you do in LA?" Lilly asked.

"I don't know." She said quietly. It was dawning on her how little she truly did know about herself anymore.

"Oh, look." Lilly pointed. A cab was pulling up to the front doors of _The Tipton_. "Looks like that's my ride."

She didn't want Lilly to leave. This was the first conversation she'd enjoyed in so long. It felt nice to communicate with someone so relaxed. Someone so disconnected from whatever this life was that she was living.

"If you're ever in Malibu…" Lilly trailed off.

"I'm sure you'll find me and follow me out my hotel if I ever am." She smiled at the thought. She couldn't remember the last thing that made her genuinely smile.

"Definitely." Lilly laughed. It was a beautiful laugh. "Well, I guess I should go now. Or is this the part where I get you to sign an autograph and take a picture?"

She smirked. She liked being teased by Lilly. It was a bit of a turn on, really. People didn't normally talk to her like an equal. She pulled her phone out and went to the camera, snapping a candid picture of Lilly looking very confused.

"Hey, I was not ready and that flash was really bright." Lilly laughed, rubbing her eyes.

"Calm down." She rolled her eyes playfully. She reached into her left boot and pulled out a black sharpie. It was her doodle pen. She liked to draw on walls and bathroom stalls. Places where no one would know the artwork or words were hers. She put the sharpie in Lilly's hand and held out her arm. "Well…where's my autograph?"

Lilly smiled and signed her name down on her arm. Each letter felt like it was being sensually stroked into her skin. It thrilled her. Lilly handed the sharpie back and reached for her suit case. "Better not wash that arm. That autograph's probably worth some big bucks. It was nice meeting you, but I really do have to go. I guess this is goodbye, Hannah Montana."

"Farewell, Lilly Truscott." She said softly.

She sat on the bench for a long time after Lilly left. The sun was starting to rise and the streets were becoming more and more populated. Too many people began to recognize her so she retreated back into _The Tipton_. She went to her room and stared at herself in front of the mirror. She didn't even recognize herself. Who was this girl staring at her? She removed the blonde wig and the makeup and the pricy clothes. She took a shower and let the water wash away the smoke and the alcohol and the parties and the clubs and the television shows and the schedules and the interviews and the magazine covers and the albums and the tabloids and the paparazzi and the fame and the fortune and the years of living someone else's life. She stepped out of that shower feeling lighter, feeling better than she had in such a long time.

She walked over to the mirror and stared at her naked self. She looked vulnerable. She looked innocent. She looked familiar.

Miley emerged from the bathroom. She dressed herself in an outfit that Hannah Montana would never wear and called her father to leave him a voicemail saying that she was taking the first flight back to California and she was canceling the rest of her promotional events. Until further notice, Hannah Montana was going on a break.

And she knew exactly where she wanted to go next.


	2. Malibu

**Chapter 2 - Malibu**

* * *

_In the footsteps of many other child stars, Hannah Montana has decided to take a break from the spotlight. Her management team claims the break is for Miss Montana's mental health. In recent months, the pop star has been reported spending much of her free time in the company of television and movie star Jake Ryan, who only last year was arrested for marijuana possession. The pair, no longer rumored to be romantically involved, have been long time friends since…_

_In pop culture news, singer and actor Hannah Montana is taking time off from Hollywood. Insiders say that the seventeen year old star has been struggling the past few months with her mental health…_

_Hannah Montana, international teen superstar, may be calling it quits. Rumors of drug and alcohol abuse may be to blame, though sources are saying there is more to the story…_

_Is Hannah Montana pulling a Lindsay Lohan? We've seen the tragic child star turned crazy adult a thousand times, but I did not see this one coming. A close source to Hannah says that rehab could be the next step…_

_The girl has been out of control. She's late to interviews, she's late to sets, and she's late to her own concerts. She helped wreck that indie rapper's hotel room last May. She's been seen smoking pot. She's been seen drinking at clubs. Hannah Montana is not the girl next door like she used to be. She's been going downhill for a long time now. It's good she's getting the help she needs before we see another blonde pop star shaving all her hair off…_

_What's next for pop sensation Hannah Montana? Only time will tell…_

Two weeks of contract renegotiations and phone calls from her father went by before Miley could make it out of Los Angeles. When she told her father and brother Jackson her plans to move to Malibu and attend high school as a normal teenager, both disapproved. Jackson eventually came around and helped form a compromise. Miley could go to public school in Malibu only if she lived with Jackson, who would act as her guardian for appearances. Their father would continue living and working in Los Angeles.

Together, Miley and Jackson found a nice three bedroom home on the water that wasn't too far from Seaview High School. It took a weekend for them to get moved in and comfortable.

"Are you excited for your first day of high school tomorrow?" Jackson asked, picking around in his Chinese takeout box.

"You make it sound like I'm starting freshman year." Miley replied, watching the sunset on the beach through the kitchen windows.

"Are you excited for your first day of senior year?" He corrected while shoving his mouth full of noodles.

"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged. "I've got a good feeling about this place."

"Me too. I think this is exactly what you need. Everybody deserves some relaxation and normalness every now and then, even if Dad doesn't think so. He just doesn't understand that other people can't handle things as well as he does."

"It's not about handling things. It's about change."

"He's not too fond of that either. Listen, Miles, don't worry about him. Okay? Just focus on school, and get some friends. This year won't last forever, make the most of it while you can. But don't forget your curfew. Ten o'clock on school nights, young lady. I won't accept a minute late." He grinned and tossed a noodle at her.

"Shut up." She laughed.

The next morning, Miley spent an hour nervously deciding what to wear. She wanted to look nice but not too nice. Mostly she was having trouble determining what would be considered too extravagant for public school. She knew that everyone dressed too nicely on television and in movies. Her only other reference was Jackson, who was no help at all.

"You look fine. Just go before you're late." He sleepily grunted while pouring milk into his cereal.

She grabbed her backpack and headed out the door. To keep up appearances, she had decided to leave her flashy car in Los Angeles. Sitting in the driveway waiting for her was a heavily used 1990 Ford Station Wagon that Jackson had found on Craigslist the day before.

By the time she reached Seaview High, most of the parking spots were taken but she managed to find one in the back. She sat in the car, trying to ease her nerves. She hadn't been this nervous since her early interview days. Using the calming exercises she'd been taught so long ago, she forced herself out of the car. The parking lot was filled with teenagers walking around, stopping to chat to friends, not paying any attention to her. She was invisible. It had been so long since she felt like she was part of a crowd rather than surrounded by it.

The bell sounded across the lot and a wave of students started moving toward the building. Not knowing where to go, she followed them into the halls. It took a while, but she managed to find the front office. A long line was waiting for the front desk. The late bell was ringing by the time it was her turn.

"How can I help you?" The woman asked. She looked like she hadn't had a reason to smile in years.

Miley had to clear her throat, the nerves were coursing through her. "Um, I just enrolled a couple days ago. I don't have a schedule yet."

"See this hallway over here? I want you to go down there and to the room on your first right. Next?"

Miley followed the instructions and went through the door marked _Guidance Office_. Another front desk and line of students was set up before her, though this line went much faster than the first had.

"Good morning. What can I do for you?" This woman was much nicer. She even smiled.

"I don't have a schedule. I just enrolled a few days ago."

"Do you know your guidance counselor's name?"

"No, sorry, I don't."

"Not a problem. What's your name, dear?"

"Miley Stewart."

"Oh, what a pretty name." She smiled and typed at her computer. "Okay, your guidance counselor is Mrs. Forrester. Her office is right down this hall. She's sixth on the left, I believe. Her name is on the door. Have a nice first day."

Miley felt like she was going deeper into a labyrinth as she walked down the next long hallway and into Mrs. Forrester's office. She spent a long time talking about her home schooling and new schedule and the layout of the school. Mrs. Forrester was overly helpful and peppy. She gave her a locker number and combination, a lunch number, a map of the school, a student handbook, and a printout of her schedule. By the time she walked out of the front office, the bell was ringing for second period. Mrs. Forrester had taken the time to circle her classes, so she checked for the one marked with the giant number two. It was close to her locker only a couple halls away from the front office.

As she walked, she couldn't help searching the sea of faces for Lilly Truscott. It was crazy, she knew, to move to Malibu and enroll in public school in the hopes of seeing a stranger again. But it was more than that. Lilly had arrived at such a dark time in Miley's life. Like a guardian angel, showing her the way to salvation. Miley wasn't very religious, but she did believe in fate. Meeting Lilly Truscott was no accident.

After finding the locker through the massive crowd of students, she opened it and stuffed most of her supplies and notebooks into it. She took a few calming breaths and walked down the hall to her class. Second and third period went by slowly. No one paid much attention to Miley, and she made no attempts to talk to anyone. She'd been hungry all morning, so she was relieved to see that she had first block lunch.

She entered the large cafeteria hesitantly in the crowd that rushed around her. She picked a random line, not sure what it led to. Copying the actions of those in front of her, she got a tray and put a few different foods on it until she reached the end of the line. She entered the lunch number that Mrs. Forrester had given her into the keypad and the lunch lady told her to have a nice day.

Then came the hard part. She stood awkwardly looking around at the picnic style tables, trying to find a place to sit. She didn't want to accidentally take someone's seat by their friends and she really didn't want to sit next to someone who would annoy her all lunch. Feeling embarrassed for standing there so long, she started aimlessly walking through the aisles with her tray. She finally found an empty seat at the end of a table. No one did more than glance at her while she ate.

She was late finding her fourth period on the second floor. Everyone stared as she entered the room and took the only available seat in the front. Her fifth period was on the first floor but, her sixth period was back on the second floor again. And her seventh and final class of the day was thankfully right by her locker.

When the last bell rang, she went to her locker and took her time organizing it with all the new textbooks she had received throughout the day. The parking lot was almost deserted when she went to her car.

"How was school?" Jackson asked from the couch as she walked in.

"Really boring." She shrugged, tossing her bag to the side. "I'm going down to the beach. Want to come?"

"Already been there today." He yawned. "It's naptime."

Miley went upstairs to her room and changed into her bikini. She grabbed her beach stuff and headed out the backdoor and down to the beach. A lot of people were lying around tanning, even more were up at Rico's Surf Shack, the only food place close by. She laid out her towel and sat watching the waves for a while. She liked having free time. No obligations, no planes to catch, no tour bus schedules, no pre-show preps, no interviews to prepare for, just free time to do whatever she wanted to do.

She thought about her school day. High school students were much more intimidating than she had been expecting. Being completely anonymous was nice though. It was different, having nothing expected of her. She was, however, disappointed she hadn't seen Lilly Truscott. It's understandable considering the population size of the school, and there's always the possibility that Lilly lied and doesn't even live in Malibu, but she decided to remain hopeful in her search.

The next few days went better and faster than the first had, and by the end of the week she had the routine down. She'd even had a few conversations with people here and there. Mostly small talk about where she's from and why she moved, but she was still actually talking to people. She had cut herself off from others for so long. She hadn't realized how starving for communication she had been.

That weekend she went around the town with Jackson, just checking the local places out, but she ended up spending all of her Sunday night doing homework. She dreaded getting out of bed on Monday, but somehow she made it to school early that day.

And she was glad she did. When she was getting out of her car, it happened. Miley spotted her across the parking lot.

Lilly Truscott.

She rushed through the crowd until she caught up to where Lilly was. She kept a good distance behind her, following her through the front doors and down the main hallway. Lilly stopped to talk to a tall dark haired boy that fit the perfect description of a hipster. He had that styled hair, poofed up in the front and shorter on the sides. He had on trendy but gritty clothes that he probably found at a thrift store. A single earring dangled from his left ear and intricate tattoos were up and down his arms.

Miley pretended to look at flyers on walls while she waited for them to stop talking. After a few minutes, Lilly started walking down the hall again. Miley followed as close as she dared but almost ran into her when she abruptly stopped to talk to someone. The flow of traffic in the halls carried Miley down the hall, and by the time she was able to turn around and go back to where she had last seen Lilly, she was gone.

Disappointed and slightly creeped out by her own actions, Miley made her way to her own locker. She was so close. But what would she even do? Lilly had talked to Hannah that night outside _The Tipton_, not Miley. Would Lilly even have any interest in talking to her? Was the boy she had stopped to talk to her boyfriend? Was that girl her girlfriend?

Miley looked everywhere for the rest of the day but never saw Lilly. The next morning she arrived in the parking lot at the exact same time she had the day before, but no Lilly. She made sure to be just as early for the rest of the week, but her efforts were wasted. It was driving her crazy. The school was only so big. How could it be so hard to find one person in it?

That Friday, Miley had a breakdown. She spent the night crying in her room, stressing over everything. What was she doing with her life? Why did she jeopardize her career to chase some stranger? Why was she so certain about Malibu? Public school was doing nothing for her. She had no friends. She had nothing to do when she wasn't at school or doing homework. What was she doing? What was she thinking?

The next morning she felt better, though still she was second guessing herself. To get out of her head, and out of the house, she decided to go somewhere. Anywhere, it didn't matter. She drove around Malibu for hours. She had nowhere to go. Nothing to do. No one to see. The boredom was crushing her.

She went back to the house to find the driveway empty. She got out of her car, dialing Jackson's number.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"LA. I told you I had to run some errands. I've got stuff to do. I think I'll stay out here at a friend's house tonight, while I'm already here."

"A _lady friend_?" Miley asked knowingly, leaning against her car.

"I'm hoping she's more than a friend at this point. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Miley was pressing the end button on the call when she heard it. It was the most angelic laugh that she had ever heard before, one that she could never forget. She whirled around, searching for the source. Not far down the street were Lilly Truscott and her hipster friend. They were walking toward the beach access by Rico's Surf Shop. She watched them until they were out of sight, then she rushed through the house and took the backyard way down to the beach and over to Rico's.

When Miley spotted them again, they were paying for nachos and drinks. She didn't know what to do after that. She had no plan, no course of action. Nothing. But, thankfully for her, a bill flew out of Lilly's hand and the wind carried it right to where Miley was standing. It was as if fate had finally decided to arrive.

Miley snatched the five dollar bill from the sand and waited for Lilly to weave around the beachgoers and tables to her.

"I think you dropped this." Miley said, thrusting the bill out for her to take. She hoped Lilly would mistake her blush as a reaction from being out in the hot sun.

"Thanks. I don't even know how that happened. It just peaced out like nobody's business." Lilly smiled as she took the bill from Miley's hand. "I'm Lilly, by the way."

"Miley." Her answer came hesitantly. She had been momentarily distracted by the way Lilly's lips formed around her name and how the sunlight made Lilly's blue eyes the color of the sky and the way light freckles dusted her cheeks and nose.

"That's a really cool name. You know, I don't think I've seen you around before."

"I just moved here. From LA."

"Really? Hey, you should totally come hang out with me and my friend Oliver."

"Uh, sure." Miley was both excited to be socializing with Lilly and disappointed to be sharing the time with the hipster boy.

Lilly led her to the table where the boy was eating nachos. "Oliver, this is Miley. Miley, Oliver. She heroically saved my money."

"A hero, huh?" Oliver smiled. "I guess that means you're forever in her debt. Slave for life. Eternal gratitude."

"Oh, well, _duh_." Lilly rolled her eyes. "So, Miley, you said you moved from LA?"

"Um, yeah. Right before school started." She nervously played with her fingers under the table.

"Where do you go?" Oliver asked eagerly, not so subtly checking her out.

"Seaview."

"No way! Us too." Lilly smiled. She noticed Oliver's gaze and must have nudged him under the table because his eyes abruptly dropped to his nachos. "So why'd you move?"

"It's a long story." Miley shrugged. "I'm living right over there with my brother."

"In _that _house?" Lilly pointed. "That house has been for sale for like forever."

"Yeah, that's the one." She nodded. She wished Oliver would leave so that she could talk to Lilly alone. His presence made everything that much more awkward.

As if knowing she was thinking about him, Oliver looked up at her again. "We're going to a party later. You should come with us."

"No thanks." She hoped she wasn't being too standoffish. She wanted to drive away Oliver's obvious interest, but she wanted the opposite for Lilly.

"Not into parties?" Lilly asked. She had a curious but polite smile.

Miley thought about her answer carefully. "I lost interest in parties a long time ago."

"Fair enough." Lilly replied, catching Oliver's disappointed look. "I'm not big on them either."

"Come on, this party is different." Oliver pleaded. "It's at Danny's. You know he's cool. And he does creepy accurate tarot card readings."

"Dandruff Danny is throwing the party tonight? You did _not_ tell me that." The look that Lilly gave Oliver made Miley smile. It was adorable, filled with the slightest bit of annoyance and frustration but underlined with a clear playfulness.

"Okay, first off, you know he hasn't had dandruff since like freshman year. And secondly, I _did _tell you." Oliver said as he ate the last nacho.

Lilly looked at Miley. "In light of this discovery, I formally invite you to join us. Danny is super into the supernatural and tarot cards and Ouija boards, like some real backwoods Louisiana swamp voodoo shit. Stuff gets weird at his parties. I'll definitely be there."

"Uh, yeah. I guess. Sounds different." It wasn't like she had anything better to do.

They exchanged phone numbers and chatted for a while. Miley mostly listened while Lilly and Oliver discussed a television show they both watched. Soon, but not nearly soon enough in Miley's opinion, Oliver had to leave.

"I'll see you ladies at the party." He said, sending a cheesy wink Miley's way.

Lilly dramatically rolled her eyes and laughed as he left. "Oh my god, don't worry about him. He's harmless, I swear. But I'll tell him to tone down the flirting. He's oblivious to everything, he probably has no idea you're not interested."

"And how do you know I'm not interested?" Miley asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm." Lilly pretended to think it over. "Let's call it…intuition."

"And what else does your _intuition_ tell you about me?"

Lilly looked her over curiously. Butterflies filled Miley as Lilly's eyes locked with hers. "It tells me that you could use some fun. I'm glad you're coming to the party, by the way. There's something about you…I can't put my finger on it. Actually, it almost feels like we've met before."

"I've got one of those faces." Miley shrugged, swallowing hard. Would Lilly figure out she was Hannah so easily?

Lilly shook her head. "It's something else. I mean, you look familiar, yeah, but there's more. You _sound _familiar."

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Miley blurted out, desperate to change to subject. "My brother is out of town tonight."

Lilly didn't say anything at first. It was almost as if she was trying to decipher exactly what Miley was asking. "Yeah. Sure. It's gonna be dark soon anyway."

They walked in silence down to the beach and up to the backdoor of the house. Miley let them in and gave Lilly a small tour.

"Wow, this place is really nice." Lilly said politely as she took a seat on the edge of Miley's bed. "And I really like your room. As Dandruff Danny would say, it's got nice _feng shui_."

"Thanks." Miley said, sitting up by her pillows.

Lilly pointed to a picture on the nightstand. "Are those your parents?"

"Yeah. It's my favorite picture of my mom."

"Why don't you live with them?"

"My mom died a long time ago."

"Oh, geez, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I don't talk about her much but…she was my favorite person in the world. No one should ever be sorry for talking about her. She never got half the credit she deserved."

"You really love her." Lilly smiled softly. "What about your dad?"

"He's still in LA. He stayed for his work, but I prefer it that way. We don't get along very well."

"My dad is always focused on his job, too. He travels a lot for it. That's pretty much why my mom divorced him. I live with her. My house isn't far from here. Just a couple streets over."

"Do you like living here?"

"Yeah, I really love it. Do you like it so far?"

"It's alright." Miley shrugged.

"I guess Malibu doesn't impress little miss LA." Lilly teased.

Miley shook her head. "I hate LA."

"Have you always lived there before now?"

"No, I'm from Tennessee." Only after she said the words did she realize it was be a bad idea.

Lilly stared at Miley, her eyes narrowing skeptically. "Tennessee? Where at?"

"Crowley Corners." Miley answered, glad she hadn't told that detail to Lilly back in Boston as Hannah.

Lilly licked her lips, the sight sending tingles through Miley. "Why move to California?"

"It was my father's idea. Have you always lived in Malibu?" Changing the subject was starting to become a talent of hers.

"Since I was born." Lilly nodded. "Oliver, too. He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I bet you've got a lot of friends in LA and Tennessee."

"No." Miley shrugged. "I've never had many friends."

"Oh, _come on_, surely you've had a best friend, at least."

Miley shook her head. She immediately started thinking of ways to change the topic again. Lilly's pity was unbearable.

Lilly was first to speak. "Sorry, it's just hard for me to think that someone as pretty as you has never been crazy popular."

Miley tried not to smile. "I've never been concerned with being popular. I don't see the point of pretending to like people who pretend to like you, all for a social status. I'd rather be invisible and know one really good person than have every horrible person know me, you know?"

"I've never thought of it that way. You're really different. I like it. This place is full of vain, stupid people. I think you've restored my faith in humanity a little bit."

"Just be glad you get the honor of being my first friend in Malibu." Miley smirked.

Lilly fake scoffed. "What makes you think I want to be your friend?" Miley raised an eyebrow and Lilly laughed. "Okay, okay. You caught me. I'm hopelessly falling into this friendship."

"Good." Miley smiled.

They talked for a long time. They talked about Jackson, Lilly's parents, pets they've had, school, Oliver, the party that night. When Lilly spotted the guitar in the corner of the room, she tried to get her to play something, but Miley knew that she couldn't do that. The moment she sang, Lilly would know who she was.

An hour after the party was supposed to have started, Lilly left Miley's to go home and get ready. Two hours later she returned eating a bag of Cheetos and looking exactly the same as how she had left. When Miley opened the door, Lilly's jaw fell open. A stray Cheeto fell from her lips to the ground.

"Oh my god, you look so _hot_." Lilly gasped.

She blushed and shut the door behind her. They got into Lilly's car, much nicer than the piece of crap Miley had been driving the past two weeks, and headed to the other side of town to the party. They ended up parking a few houses down. Cars lined both sides of the street and the long driveway up to the house.

The moment they walked into the smoky haze, Miley was hit with the smell of weed and burning incense. Music blared from all directions, the bass rumbled through the floors. People walked around with bottles of beer and red cups. No one paid any attention to her or Lilly as they walked through the rooms in search of Oliver.

"Let's check upstairs!" Lilly yelled over the music. She grabbed Miley's hand and pulled her up the thin stairs. They had to flatten themselves against the wall to pass the people standing around on different steps. They went into the first bedroom and found a tarot card reading in progress.

"That's Danny." Lilly mouthed, pointing to the boy reading the cards. He could only be described as resembling a hippie.

They moved to stand by the wall and watched a boy finish getting his cards read. The boy, stoned out of his mind, simply nodded and crawled out of the room when they were done. Danny looked up at the pair of them on the wall. "Would you like a reading?"

"She would, yes." Lilly grinned, nudging Miley forward. She decided no harm could come from the act, so she sat in front of the low coffee table across from Danny. He straightened the cloth on it and shuffled the cards a bit.

"Shuffle these." He instructed, handing her the deck. His voice was soft and gentle, breezy like the wind.

"Danny, have you seen Oliver?" Lilly asked while Miley was busy shuffling.

"No, I'm sorry, Lilly. I haven't." He answered.

"Are introductions needed?" Lilly asked, gesturing toward Miley.

"No, no." Danny waved away the suggestion. "I usually find that readings go much better the less I know about the other person. My spirit connects better that way to theirs." Miley started to hand back the cards but he shook his head. "Separate them into three piles, please." She did as he said and waited for more. "Now choose one of the three." She pointed to the middle one. He removed the other two piles and picked up the one she had chosen. He flipped over the first three cards and placed them in a horizontal line on the cloth between them.

"How interesting." He mumbled, looking from the cards to her. "You are a very conflicted person, aren't you?"

Miley shrugged, glancing at Lilly who gave a supportive and entertained smile. "I guess."

"Yes, yes." Danny nodded. "This card here, you see, she says that you are struggling between great opposing forces. This second card has a large towering wall on it. You have something very big that you're hiding. It burdens you greatly." He flipped over two more cards beneath the three. "You see here, this card shows growth. You need to let yourself grow. Whatever you are keeping to yourself, set it free. Let yourself be free of this burden you carry." He pointed to the third card that he had originally flipped over. "This is the lover's card. Is there a significant person in your life?"

Miley shook her head no. She wanted to look at Lilly to see her reaction, but she forced herself to keep her eyes on Danny. He flipped over two cards beneath the lover's card.

"There is great potential, don't worry. Things will look up. There will be a strong connection between the two of you." He flipped over a few cards away from the others already showing. He stared at the last card, slowly he looked back up to Miley. "Do you know what this card is?"

The card had an expressionless woman in an elegant blue gown sitting on a large silver throne. Danny stared hard at Miley. "She is the most powerful card of them all. She is the card of true balance. She possesses the balance between lightness and darkness. Whatever it is that you hide within you, your burden, you must find a balance…or it will destroy you."

Danny quietly collected all of the cards. He left the room without saying another word.

Lilly sat down beside Miley. "Wow, that was the most intense I've ever seen Danny be. But don't worry, the last time he read my cards, he told me that the devil was in my future or something. Hey, are you okay? Listen, I wouldn't take all this too seriously. It's just cards, right?"

"Right." Her throat was dry and her pulse was racing. His warning could not have been clearer to her. For the first time in her life, she didn't know what to believe.

"Let's go find something to do." Lilly stood and held out her hand. Miley took it and let her lead the way out of the room and back downstairs. They had just returned to the party when someone came over and dragged Lilly off to the side. All Lilly could do was giggle and yell, "I'll be right back!"

Instead of standing there by herself, Miley decided to walk around. She found a sliding glass door open so she stepped outside to the back porch. The fresh air felt nice. She noticed an old folding chair and sat on it, looking up at the night sky and enjoying the cool breeze. She leaned her head back against the house and felt the music thumping through it. Every now and then a few people would come outside, but they would all return inside once they realized there was nothing to do.

Miley almost jumped out of her chair when a girl and boy emerged from the shadows in the distance. The girl's boisterous laugh contrasted sharply to the quiet night. The boy went inside without so much as glancing at Miley, but the girl stopped and stared her.

The girl looked around and spotted a forgotten lighter on a windowsill not far away. She pulled out a packet of cigarettes and lit one. She put the lighter and pack into her back pocket and walked over to where Miley was. "Bored already?" She waited for Miley to say something and smirked when she didn't. "So…you're the quiet type, huh? My name's Mikayla. You got a name?"

"Miley."

"Want a smoke?"

"No thanks."

Mikayla narrowed her eyes at Miley and took a long drag. "What kind of person sits outside a party and doesn't smoke?"

"I didn't say I don't smoke."

"What, my shit isn't good enough for you?" Mikayla laughed. "Looks like you think this whole party isn't good enough for you."

"I'm just not into parties."

"What are you into?" Mikayla asked, her eyes seductively looking Miley up and down.

Before Miley could say anything, Lilly stepped out on to the back porch. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the two of them. She crossed her arms and nearly glared at Mikayla, who looked from Lilly to Miley then back. She chuckled to herself and took a last drag on the cigarette before tossing it to the ground and crushing it under her heel. Without exchanging any words, Mikayla winked at Miley and walked slowly past Lilly and into the party.

Lilly sighed and walked over to Miley. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." She answered, glancing at the door. "What was all that?"

"What did she say to you?"

"Nothing. Why?"

Lilly struggled to find what she wanted to say. "She's…she's just bad news, okay? She's not someone you should…just stay away from her. Okay? As your friend, I'm looking out for you here. She's not someone to get mixed up with."

"Are you speaking from experience?" Miley asked cautiously. She wasn't entirely sure what they were talking about, but she definitely wanted to know more.

"Just trust me. She's not a good person." Lilly said, avoiding the question. "Have you been out here this whole time? I've been looking everywhere for you. I thought maybe Danny freaked you out with the tarot card stuff. You _looked_ really freaked out."

"I just don't like parties."

"Do you want to get out of here? I don't know where Oliver is, he wouldn't answer his phone."

They went around the house so that they wouldn't have to run into any more human obstacles. When they reached Lilly's car, she stopped and looked at Miley.

"I'm sorry for dragging you here." She said quietly.

"You didn't drag me anywhere. I wanted to come."

"I thought you lost interest in parties a long time ago?" Lilly asked, referring to Miley's own words earlier that afternoon.

"I did." Miley said, opening the car door. "I came for a different interest."

Miley got into the car but it took Lilly a few moments to do the same. When she finally got into the car, she asked her where she wanted to go and Miley told her to make it a surprise. Lilly smirked as she drove off. They ended up outside Lilly's own house.

"Wait here." Lilly instructed before she ran inside. Exactly five minutes later she returned to the car with a backpack, then drove them a few streets over to Miley's house.

"What are we going to do here?" Miley asked as they walked in the front door.

"Sleepover, duh." Lilly smiled brightly. Following Lilly's detailed sleepover instructions, they grabbed blankets and pillows and set them up in front of the TV in the living room. Miley made popcorn while Lilly perfected the blanket arrangement.

"I'm gonna go head and change." She said, pulling her shirt over her head. Miley knew she shouldn't stare.

But how could she not.

Lilly's torso was tan, smooth, and toned. She pulled a shirt that was one size too big for her over her head and stripped off her jeans. She had on a pair of girl's boxers and the sight turned Miley on to the point that she didn't even notice the microwave beeping at her. Lilly glanced over and Miley blushed, redirecting her eyes and remembering the popcorn. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Lilly pull on sweatpants while she poured the popcorn into a bowl. She walked the bowl over to the coffee table in front of the TV and set it down.

"I'll go change, too." Miley announced, heading for the stairs.

"Oh, so I don't get a show but you do?" Lilly teased, sitting down on the blankets and stuffing her clothes into her backpack.

"You should be so lucky." Miley smirked.

When she returned back downstairs after changing into a tank top and shorts, Lilly already had a movie in.

"What are we watching?" Miley asked, scaring Lilly who had been scrolling through something on her phone.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me. Don't you make any noise when you walk?" Lilly laughed.

"Nope, I'm secretly a ninja." Miley grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"Stealthy and mysterious." Lilly wiggled her eyebrows. "How hot."

"You have no idea." Miley mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn, causing both of them to laugh.

Lilly pressed play on the remote and tossed it behind her on to the couch. "We're watching a classic."

"I'm judging your entire taste in movies on this, so it better be good."

"It's one of my all-time favorites."

A few moments after the opening scene started, Miley looked over at Lilly. "Are we watching _Jaws_?"

"Yes." She smiled. "And if you say you don't like this movie, I'm sorry, but friendship over."

"I've never seen it all the way through." Miley admitted, cringing as the swimming women started being attacked by the shark.

"That's a major crime and personal offense in my book. You'll have to work hard to deserve my forgiveness." Lilly grinned mischievously.

"And what exactly would I have to do to be worthy of your forgiveness?" Miley asked. Her mind wanted to wander to dirty places, but something held her back.

She felt that Lilly was flirting with her, but was it just in good fun or was she really meaning it? They had only just met, was she wanting things to move faster than they should? Miley didn't want to just hook-up with Lilly, she wanted to get to know her more. She was unlike anyone that Miley had ever met before. She was more than a one night stand.

"Hmm…I think I'll have to get back to you on that." Lilly answered, watching Miley carefully. "Unless you have any suggestions?"

"I don't know, but I do know these lights are too bright for a movie." Miley got up and turned the lights off. She had said that as a change of subject, but as she turned off the lights it hit her that the dark was only more inviting for something to happen.

She sat back down next Lilly, closer than she had meant to. Lilly looked at her expectantly but Miley kept her eyes focused on the television screen.

"Miley?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure."

"What's the real reason you don't like parties?"

Miley looked at Lilly. The question had caught her off guard. She had assumed Lilly's question would be about her intentions or her sexuality. "Um, well…I used to go to a lot of them. Like, _a lot_. They lose their appeal after a while. Most people go to socialize or do something with someone that they normally wouldn't do if they weren't drunk."

"Why did you go to them before?"

"It was the cool thing to do. But I stopped being concerned with what's cool a long time ago."

Lilly stared at Miley hard, searching her face. "This might sound crazy, but you remind me of someone I met recently."

"Mikayla?" Miley asked quickly.

"Definitely not. You are nothing like that girl. She is evil in heels."

"You just met me, how do you know what I'm like?" Miley asked quietly.

Lilly thought it over. "This is going to sound exactly like something Danny would say, but you have this like…this aura about you. I don't know, I'm just really fascinated by you. You're really different than the people around here."

"I was just thinking something similar about you." Miley admitted. "You're definitely one of kind, Lilly Truscott."

Lilly looked at Miley and smiled. Something had sparked in her, her blue eyes were lit up. She started to say something but stopped herself. A few moments of thought passed and she tried again. "You're not watching the movie."

"I guess I'm doing pretty bad at earning your forgiveness." Miley replied. Despite her efforts not to, she glanced down at Lilly's lips. She wanted so badly in that moment to kiss her.

"I think your main problem is not looking at the TV." Lilly smirked.

"Sorry. Sometimes I just get distracted by pretty things." Miley smirked back, enjoying the faint blush that touched Lilly's cheeks.

"What, sharks aren't pretty enough for you?"

"They just don't compare."

"Compare to what, exactly?"

Miley glanced at Lilly's lips again then turned her attention back to the movie. "You're not watching the movie."

Lilly grinned. "Don't even act like _you_ are."

Despite her best efforts not to, Miley looked at Lilly and her lips again. Just as she was about to say something very flirtatious and inviting of physical contact, Lilly's phone rang.

"Hello? Wait, what? I can't hear you. Oliver, you have to talk louder. You're _where_? Oh my god, _Oliver_, what were you even thinking? Yeah, no, I'll come get you. It's fine. I'll be there soon." Lilly ended the call and looked over at Miley. "I need to go get him. He somehow managed to get himself stranded in the canyons. He went up there with some guys on some weird drug deal and they _forgot him_."

"Oh."

"I'm really sorry. I was having fun here but…"

"I understand. He needs your help."

"You can come with me…if you want?"

"No, I think…I think I'm good here."

Lilly looked at her carefully. "Yeah, okay. Well…I'll text you tomorrow and maybe we can finish the movie?"

"Yeah. Sounds good." Miley nodded.

After Lilly left, Miley picked up the blankets and pillows and put them away. She went into her room and sat for a while. She didn't know what she wanted do, what she was doing, or what was even best for her to do. It was clear, though, that there was a physical attraction between them, but Miley wanted there to be more than that.

There was something special about the way she felt when she was around Lilly. She'd never felt that way about anyone. But what was Lilly hiding about that Mikayla girl? Was Lilly really interested in Miley the way Miley was interested in Lilly? Were they moving too fast, even for a friendship? What did she really want from Lilly? What was the deal with that tarot card reading and Danny's warning to find balance and free herself of her great burden?

Miley fell asleep that night filled with questions.

She dreamed that Lilly would give her the answers.


	3. Labels

**Chapter 3 – Labels**

* * *

Miley was far too conflicted to reply to Lilly's text about hanging out the following day. She wasn't used to feeling such a strong attraction toward someone. She was completely infatuated. Lilly was a beautiful, intriguing, deep individual. She had only spent an afternoon with the girl, but she was hooked.

But what to do? She didn't want to rush things with Lilly, the last thing she wanted to do was accidentally scare her off. She wanted a friendship, but she craved more. She couldn't help thinking about how soft her skin looked, how bright her eyes were, how inviting her lips seemed. But what were Lilly's intentions with Miley? Did she want a close friendship? Maybe more? She certainly liked to flirt with her, but was it real? Was Miley taking friendly banter as something more? Were the signals getting mixed somewhere?

Jackson returned from his night in LA around noon. Miley told him about making a friend the day before and that they had gone to a party together.

"You went to a party?" He asked slowly.

"Lilly was going. I said I'd tag along. It was lame, we left early. It's not a big deal."

"Just…be careful, alright? Getting caught doing stuff you shouldn't as Hannah is one thing, but it would be totally different as you. If you get into any trouble Dad is going to drag you right back to LA."

"I know. Don't worry. I won't get into any trouble."

"Good. I like it here. The sun and the girls are equally as hot. This place is paradise." He laughed.

Miley looked over at the spot by the couch where she had seen Lilly change clothes the night before. "Yeah."

The next day at school, Lilly showed up at her locker. "Hey."

"Um, hey." Miley was surprised to see her. They had mentioned where their lockers were when they chatted on her bed the past Saturday afternoon, but she never really expected to see Lilly during the school day.

"You never texted me back yesterday. You didn't give me a fake number, did you?" She joked lightheartedly. Everything about her always seemed so relaxed.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I got caught up in some things." Miley lied, closing her locker and avoiding Lilly's eyes.

"No problem." Lilly smiled reassuringly. Miley turned to walk down the hall to her second period class. Lilly followed her. "Are you going to be caught up in some things today, too?"

"I don't know. I'll have to check."

"Okay…well just let me know, I guess."

"Yeah, sure." Miley rushed into her class. She hated rejecting Lilly's invitation to hang out, but she also didn't think it was fair to either of them to get any more attached until she knew exactly what it was that she was going to do.

Thoughts of Lilly consumed Miley's day, and when school ended Miley waited by her locker in the hopes that Lilly would turn up again. She eventually gave up on waiting and went out to her car, already dialing Lilly's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lilly, um, I was just wondering if you still wanted to hang out today?"

"Well, I do, but some things came up. We shouldn't definitely do something tomorrow though! Cool?"

"Oh, yeah. For sure. Cool."

After homework and dinner, Miley found herself alone in her room with nothing to do. She tried listening to music and watching television but nothing kept her interest. She decided to go online and find something to do. Automatically she tried to open Facebook, and it was then that she realized that Hannah had a fan page but she herself had never made a personal account. So she made one.

Within half an hour she had accepted friends requests sent from fifty people that she had met at school, including Lilly, Oliver, Danny, and Mikayla.

She went to Lilly's page and spent another thirty minutes browsing her pictures and posts. Lilly was incredibly witty online and her pictures were entertaining. There were hundreds. Pictures of her surfing, skateboarding, rock climbing, kayaking, the list of outdoors activities went on and on. There were even pictures of her at school dances, playing for the Seaview soccer team, and old pictures from her childhood. She was friends with both of her parents as well. Miley couldn't help noticing how little Lilly looked like either of them, aside from the identically beautiful blonde hair she shared with her mother.

Miley's next stalking session was directed at Mikayla's page. She too had hundreds of pictures, though most of hers were taken at parties and had her smoking, drinking, and holding various bits of drug paraphernalia. In Mikayla's bio, Miley noticed that it specifically stated that Mikayla likes both men and women. On Lilly's page, nothing had been specified at all in that section.

Miley even took the time to look through Oliver and Danny's pages. Before she knew it, the night had gotten away from her. She was about to log out when she went back to her own bio and changed her preferences to liking women. She hovered the mouse over the _Save _button while she debated with herself.

What would it matter if Miley was open with her sexuality? Hannah had to be in the closet, but Miley didn't. Jackson already knew and their father ignored it. The rest of the family in Tennessee would never have to know if she were out in California.

But what if Miley was exposed as being Hannah? Not only would she lose the double life she was trying to recreate, but Hannah's image would be changed forever. No longer would she just be a celebrity, she would be the _lesbian _popstar. No one would care about anything else. Not her music, not her movies, not her charity work. She would become her sexuality in the eyes of the people. Just a lesbian. Nothing more, nothing less. Her father would never allow it. He would certainly force her into a closet and make her publicly go out with empty men like Jake Ryan.

Was it worth the risk?

Miley glanced to the sidebar and saw Lilly's chat icon come online. She thought about how Lilly would surely see the preference change on her feed.

Miley hit the _Save _button and logged out. Before the laptop was even fully shut down, she received a text from Lilly. Nervous, she opened the message.

Lilly: _Looks like Oliver owes me $10._

Miley: _Why?_

Lilly: _He bet you were straight._

Miley swallowed hard and tried to keep her nerves down. _Is that why you came over to my house after the party? To find out?_

Lilly: _Definitely not, but that reminds me that we still need to finish that movie._

Miley: _I'm free this weekend. Friday night?_

Lilly: _It's a date._

Miley smiled to herself but tried to remain realistic. _What do you mean by date?_

Lilly's response took longer than normal. _See you tomorrow at school ;)_

Miley sighed and fell back on her bed. She stayed like that for a while, just staring at the ceiling and thinking about her possibly legitimate date with Lilly that weekend.

The next morning, Miley was greeted at her locker by Lilly again.

"Guess what?" Lilly smiled.

"What?" Miley asked, preoccupied with exchanging books between her locker and her bag.

"In one night you've managed to make your way through the queer girls' gossip ring."

"What do you mean?"

Lilly used air quotes as she spoke. "I heard a group of lesbians discussing the '_new hot lesbian with the southern accent_'. I guess they don't realize you've been here since the first day of school."

"And why do you think they were talking about me?"

"Maybe because you're the only new hot southern lesbian in the school." Lilly laughed.

Miley blushed. "My accent isn't even that strong."

"It is compared to the valley girl accents around here."

"So since you heard the gossip…" Miley closed her locker and looked at Lilly. "…does that mean you're a part of the queer girls' gossip ring?"

Lilly grinned. "_Actually_, I wasn't told anything. I merely overheard it in the halls as I passed the gaggle of lesbians."

"The gaggle?" Miley raised an eyebrow.

Lilly laughed. "You're right, gaggle doesn't fit. What would you classify a group of lesbians as?"

From behind Lilly, a sultry voice answered. "A pussy riot."

Lilly turned to see Mikayla leaning against the lockers and smirking at them. She rolled her eyes and looked back at Miley. "Come on, I'll walk you to class."

Mikayla moved to block their way. "Aw, don't be like that, Lils. You can't keep the fresh meat all to yourself."

"Fresh meat?" Miley interjected.

Mikayla smiled at her. "That's what they're calling you. Don't take the objectification personally. It's all in good fun. Trust me, the raging social justice lesbians in this town would never pass up an opportunity to host a feminist movement at the slightest bit of inequality."

"Sounds a bit like a double standard." Miley pointed out.

"Hey, I don't claim to know how lesbians work." Mikayla smirked. "I just know how to make them come."

Lilly rolled her eyes again. "Oh my god. You are so vulgar."

Mikayla glanced over at the reaction. "I would say just ask Lilly, but she's too busy flipping between labels and slapping people in the face when they call her a lesbian to remember how much she liked it when their fingers where inside her."

Lilly gritted her teeth. "Maybe I was just trying to smack some sense into them."

Mikayla scoffed. "Right, because the red handprint you left on my face certainly changed me for the better inside. It's not my fault that I got tired of you standing in the closet doorway. Being out when you wanted me to fuck you and running back inside when you realized how much you liked it."

Lilly abruptly turned and left. Mikayla almost looked like she was going to chase after her, but instead she turned back to Miley. "I wouldn't let her mess with you the way I let her toy with me for so long."

"Funny, I've heard similar things about you." Miley admitted.

Mikayla sighed and crossed her arms. "I'll let you in on something. Lilly's not the little innocent girl she pretends to be. One minute she's telling you no one makes her wet like you do and then the next minute she's back in the closet riding fucking Dandruff Danny's dick. I might not be a lesbian, but at least I'm _honest_ about what I am."

Miley was shocked and overwhelmed with information. Lilly and Mikayla? Lilly and Danny? Lilly was definitely turning out to be someone entirely different than Miley had thought she was.

"Look." Mikayla took a step closer. "I know Lilly's probably said a million shitty things about me, and you know what most of them are probably true, but don't let her fool you into thinking that I'm the one who screwed _her_ over."

Mikayla left and Miley found herself alone. The bell ringing snapped her out of her thoughts, but she walked the halls numb with discovery.

On her way to her locker at the end of the day, Miley spotted Oliver. She rushed over to him and pulled him to the side.

"Ow, what—_Miley_?" He rubbed his arm where she had forcefully grabbed him. "What the hell, man?"

"Tell me everything there is to know about Lilly and Mikayla." She demanded.

He stared at her with wide eyes. "What…I don't know what you mean."

"Cut the shit, Oliver. I want answers, right now. What happened with them?"

He rubbed his arm more and glanced around them. "Lilly told me what Mikayla said in front of you guys this morning."

"Yeah, so you know why I'm confused then."

"I don't think it's really my place to say anything."

Miley groaned in frustration. "If you don't tell me, I'll have to go ask someone else and get an answer full of half true rumors."

Oliver sighed. "Fine, whatever. Look, it's all old news, okay? It's done, history, over."

"It didn't look like it was all water under the bridge this morning. Just tell me everything that happened. Start at the beginning."

He sighed even heavier and looked around them anxiously. "We met Mikayla through some friends of friends last year and like a week later Lilly told me that Mikayla liked her. So I was all, 'well, what are you gonna do' and she like 'I don't know I've never been with a girl before' and I was like 'do what feels right' and she was all 'cool' and then Mikayla took her out on a date and they got it on and then Lilly was like 'she's perfect' and I was like 'that's great' and they had like a friends with benefits thing going on for a few months and Mikayla asked her out and Lilly didn't want to date because all of this had been in secret and Mikayla got mad and was all 'be yourself, be proud, come out' and Lilly tried be like 'I don't know what to come out as' and they kept it on for like a few weeks and at a party Mikayla yelled 'you can't just fuck me and pretend I'm nothing to you after' and Lilly was mad because she was making a scene and Mikayla was like 'just admit you're a lesbian' and Lilly slapped her in the face and they didn't talk again until the summer."

Miley stared at Oliver as he stood there in an awkward post-ramble state.

He crossed his arms. "Don't tell Lilly that I told you."

"Did they love each other?"

"I don't know."

"You're Lilly's best friend, she never told you?"

He leaned in closer and said quietly, "Look, I don't know, okay? I never asked. I never liked Mikayla, I was just happy she was gone. If I had to guess…I'd say Mikayla liked Lilly a lot more than Lilly like Mikayla. There's just a lot of unresolved bitterness between them. It flairs up every now and then, but it's all old news. Lilly doesn't want anything to do with her."

Miley was about to ask if Mikayla still had feelings for Lilly, but suddenly Oliver rushed into the boys' restroom next to them. Confused, Miley looked around and saw Lilly heading their way down the hall. She noticed Miley and came over to her.

"Hey." She said quietly.

"Hey." Miley glanced at the boys' restroom. She could imagine Oliver standing behind the door with his ear pressed against it.

"About this morning, I'm sorry you had to witness all that."

"No need to apologize."

"No, I do. You shouldn't have had to be there. It was so awkward."

"I'm glad I was there." Miley admitted.

Lilly's brows furrowed. "Why?"

Miley smirked. "In case you needed someone to stop you from hitting the other side of her face."

Lilly laughed. "Thanks. So are we still on for watching the rest of _Jaws_ Friday night?"

"Definitely." Miley nodded.

"Hey, if you're not busy right now, want to go to the beach with me and Oliver? He should be here. I don't know where he's at." Lilly looked up and down the halls.

Miley glanced at the restroom door and smiled. It was cracked open and Oliver's eye was staring out of it. "Yeah. Sure."

The three of them went to Rico's Shack and got cheese fries to share. They talked about things far from girl drama and laughed and teased each other. For the first time in years, Miley really felt like she was making some good friends. They decided to go swimming, so Oliver and Lilly left to go get swim suits from Lilly's while Miley would go to her own house and change. She noticed Lilly had forgotten her phone on the table, so she grabbed it and took it to her house with her.

In the middle of changing, Lilly got a phone call. Miley let it ring and continued tying her bikini top. When it rang again, she went over to the phone and was surprised to see Mikayla's name. This time a voicemail was left.

Despite knowing how wrong it was to invade Lilly and Mikayla's privacy, Miley went to the voicemail and listened to it.

_Hey, Lils, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your new girl crush. It just made me so jealous to see the way you were looking at her. I mean, I get it, she's hot. But you know every queer girl in the county is going to be trying to ring that southern belle. And Lilly, she's not going to put up with you suffocating her in the closet any more than I did. But I hope you think of me when you're fucking her. I know you'll be thinking of me after when you leave her in bed to run to some pathetic horny boy you hope will fuck you straight. If you ever get your shit together, call me. And just so you know, no matter how mad we get at each other, my offer is still good. I'll be there for you if you need me, babe. I guess I'll see you around._

Miley let out a shaky breath and marked the oddly passive-aggressive voicemail as unread so that Lilly wouldn't know she had listened to it. On her way down to the beach, all she could do was hear Mikayla's words in her head.

Lilly didn't seem like the simple, easygoing girl that Hannah had met in Boston. She was becoming quite complex. Miley had no idea what she wanted to do. If she were to pursue Lilly romantically, she might suffer a fate like Mikayla had. She didn't want that. But if she were to stay friends with Lilly, who knows what would become of their attraction to each other.

She decided it was too soon to know. Time would tell what to do. Decisions didn't have to be made right away.

She went down to the water and waited for Lilly and Oliver. When they arrived, Miley found it hard to keep eyes off Lilly. She looked incredibly sexy in swimming trunks. They stayed on the beach until it started nearing sun down. Then they sat in the sand and talked until the moon and stars came out. When it started getting chilly, Miley invited them back to her house.

Oliver declined; he had homework to get done. But Lilly took up the offer.

They entered the house through the backdoor. Miley called out for Jackson but got no response. She went to the front door and checked outside.

"That's weird. He's not here." Miley said, walking back over to where Lilly stood leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Did you check your phone?" Lilly asked.

"Good idea. Oh, by the way, you left your phone at Rico's but I grabbed it for you. It's in my room." Miley said, leading Lilly upstairs.

"Is this just a clever plan to get me in your room?" Lilly laughed.

Miley grabbed the phone from her bed and handed it to her. "Mikayla called you earlier."

Lilly's smile fell. "Look…that's all over now."

"So you two had a thing?" Miley crossed her arms and leaned against her dresser, watching Lilly stand awkwardly in the middle of her room. She thought about putting on more clothes and offering Lilly a shirt so that they weren't standing around in their bathing suits, but she didn't want to interrupt what Lilly was about to tell her.

"A thing, yeah." Lilly shrugged. "It wasn't a big deal."

"It seems like a big deal to Mikayla."

"Well, it's not to me."

"So what happened? Why'd you hit her?"

"She said some things I didn't like and I lost my temper. It was the first time I've ever done something like that."

"But you definitely like girls though?"

Lilly looked at the ground and crossed her own arms. "It's complicated."

"How is it complicated? If you like someone, you like them."

"Look, I'm just not into labels."

"I'm not asking you to label yourself. I'm just asking if you like girls. I mean, you liked Mikayla at one point and she's a girl. Was it just a phase or something? An experiment?"

Lilly looked at Miley and narrowed her eyes. "Did she put you up to this?"

"No." Miley ran a hand through her hair. "I was just wondering."

Lilly looked at the ground then up at Miley. "I wouldn't know how to label myself even if I wanted to. Mikayla was the only girl I've ever kissed, or even wanted to kiss."

Miley, feeling disappointed, looked anywhere but at Lilly's eyes. Lilly, on the other hand, stared at Miley and when she wouldn't look back, moved closer to her until they were arm's length apart.

Lilly's voice was a whisper. "She was the only girl…until now."

Miley looked into Lilly's eyes. They were beautiful, blue, and inviting. "What do you plan on doing about that?"

Lilly's eyes fell to Miley's lips. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"I certainly don't want to do something and have you go into an identity crisis and run off to sleep with Dandruff Danny."

Lilly took an appalled step back. "Did Mikayla say that's what I did?" Miley nodded and Lilly grunted. "I can't believe her."

"Is that what would happen?" Miley asked, bringing Lilly's attention back to her. "If something happened between us, would you do to me what you did to her?"

Lilly struggled to find what she wanted to say. "It's complicated, okay? It's easy to judge me about the things I've done but you don't understand."

"I understand." Miley reached out and held Lilly's hand. "I mean, I never wanted to be with guys, but I know it's hard to deal with things like this. I've never been as out of the closet in my life as I was today."

"You weren't out in LA?"

"My brother knows, but I didn't have any friends back there."

"What about your dad?"

"He pretends I'm straight. I never officially said 'hey, I'm gay', but I know he knows."

"But you came out to your brother?" Lilly asked curiously.

Miley blushed. "Not exactly. He caught me watching something."

Lilly grinned mischievously. "Were you watching lesbian porn?"

"_The L Word_, but close enough." They laughed.

"Okay." Lilly stepped closer, and looked right into Miley's eyes. "I like you. I really do. I think you're beautiful, interesting, and you do the cutest little things. But I'm telling you right now that I don't know if I can publically be in a relationship with a girl. I don't know how my parents would react to me dating a girl. I know my dad wouldn't like it very much, and if I told my mom she would definitely tell him. I don't want a secret committed relationship either, though. There's too much pressure to be open about it. It's complicated."

"So your parents are the only thing stopping you from dating girls?"

"Well, I don't normally feel sexual attraction toward girls."

"But you did for Mikayla."

"Yes."

"And you do…for me?" Miley bit her lip to keep herself from smiling.

Lilly's eyes fell to her lips and her voice fell to a whisper. "Yes."

A kiss was expected by both of them, but neither made the move. In the distance, Miley heard the front door open and Jackson yell that he was home.

The two of them separated and Miley found a clean shirt for Lilly to put on. Miley barely had time to put on a pair of shorts and shirt before Jackson came striding into the room.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you had company." He looked between them awkwardly.

"Lilly, this is my brother Jackson. Jackson, this is my friend Lilly."

They shook hands and politely said hi. Jackson cleared his throat. "So, this is the friend you made a few days ago?"

"Uh, yeah." Miley had forgotten that she and Lilly had only met three days beforehand. She suddenly became embarrassed at how fast the two of them had been going.

"It's nice to meet you, but I should be getting home." Lilly announced. She said her farewells to the siblings and quickly left the room.

Jackson turned to Miley. "My bad, I didn't know."

"It's fine. It was getting late anyway." Miley shrugged.

"She's hot." Jackson grinned, lifting his hand into the air for a high five and lowering it when Miley ignored the gesture.

"Yeah, well, she also comes with a lot of complications."

"Now that doesn't sound good. Guess I should hold off on getting the U-Haul for you guys?"

"Shut up." Miley laughed, throwing a dirty shirt from the ground at him.

Later that night Lilly texted Miley and they had a long conversation about their interests and hobbies and favorite colors until one in the morning came and they had to say goodnight.

Miley and Lilly continued to hang out and talk the following days at school but never mentioned their mutual feelings of attraction. Oliver never suspected that anything was going on between them and Mikayla hadn't made an appearance since that Tuesday. Things were falling into a comfortable normalness of friendship that Miley had never known that she needed. Now that she knew what it was like with Lilly and Oliver, she couldn't imagine living a life of loneliness without friends.

Lilly came over to Miley's that Friday night like planned. She arrived already in pajamas , with _Jaws _and pizza in her arms. Miley had gotten Jackson to agree to go to LA for the night in preparation for their sleepover night, and she was very glad he had decided to go. A night alone with Lilly was sure to be interesting.

"Hurry up, it's playing!" Lilly giddily exclaimed across the room as Miley rushed over with a bowl of popcorn and drinks.

"We already watched this part, calm down." Miley laughed as she added to the pile of food and drinks on the coffee table.

"Sit down, your voluptuous butt is in the way." Lilly playfully slapped Miley's ass, causing her to jump.

"Hey!" Miley picked up a pillow and threw it at her. "You have to ask the cutie before you touch the booty."

Lilly beamed up at her. "Hey cutie, can I touch the booty?"

"Nope. In fact, you're in time out. Go to the corner." Miley laughed, sitting down on the pile of blankets.

Lilly pretended to be sad. "Aw, please can I stay? I promise to be a good girl and keep my hands to myself."

"Pinky promise?" Miley stuck out her little finger.

Lilly smiled and wrapped her little finger around Miley's. "Pinky promise."

They watched the movie and ate food for a while, and then Lilly decided to give the shark dialogue in a funny high pitched voice that had them both doubled over laughing.

"You're ruining the movie!" Miley laughed, jokingly pushing Lilly over. When she sat back up, she retaliated with an equally forceful push. In an attempt to push each other over, they ended up both on their sides. Miley quickly rolled them so that she was straddling Lilly, who more or less let her.

Once their laughing and Lilly's halfhearted attempts to move subsided, they were left with their eyes locked and their pulses racing. Miley released her grip on Lilly's arms, but neither moved.

Slowly, without much thought, Miley lowered her head until their lips were inches apart. Lilly had already closed her eyes in anticipation, but Miley held back. She was too unsure to make the move.

Lilly opened her eyes and stared up at her. "Miley?"

"Yeah?" Miley's head was in a daze at the feeling of Lilly's breath on her lips and her lower half was in tingles at the sensation of having Lilly pressed against her.

"I broke my pinky promise." She grinned.

Miley smiled. "It was a pinky promise I never wanted you to keep."

"And Miley?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

Their lips met. Much to Miley's delight, the spark was there. It was shooting through her body. She felt it in her fingers and her toes. She felt it everywhere.

When they opened their eyes, they stared at each other. Both girls were trying to decide what would happen next. Neither really wanted to stop.

"Is this too fast?" Lilly asked, breaking the silence.

"That's what I was thinking." Miley answered, taking a last look at Lilly's lips before they returned to their movie watching positions.

A good five minutes of semi-awkwardness passed. Miley was startled by Lilly's hand when it found hers, but the feeling of holding her hand was so natural that all the awkwardness that had found them quickly disappeared. When the movie ended, they put in another and they muted it and did their own voices for the characters. They did another movie the same way.

When the third movie ended, they turned off the TV and collected all of the blankets and pillows. They took them upstairs and got comfortable in Miley's bed. They had intended to get some sleep, but they stayed awake talking until the sun rose. Eventually, though, they both drifted off.

Miley's phone ringing woke them up around noon. It was Jackson calling to say that he was on the way home. He didn't want to interrupt anything, in the event that anything had happened. She told him nothing had, but her fingers went to her lips as she spoke. Remembering the kiss, she smiled and hung up.

They took turns in the bathroom getting ready and headed out for a day at the mall with Oliver. Neither brought up the kiss, but both girls caught the other staring longingly at each other's lips. They would smile knowingly and pretend nothing happened.


	4. LA

**Chapter 4 – LA**

* * *

It was surprising to Miley how fast time flew. It was already nearing the end of October. She had been staying busy. A significant amount of her time outside of school was spent with Lilly and Oliver, though they themselves were busy people. Lilly had soccer practice several days a week, and Oliver was involved in more after school clubs and extracurricular activities than Miley could name. They both suggested for her to be more active at Seaview, but nothing really caught her interest.

When she wasn't hanging out with Lilly and Oliver, she was writing music or spending time with Jackson or down at the beach. She had already completed five songs in the three months that she'd been in Malibu. She was humming new melodies all the time. Lyrics were buzzing around her head with every solo walk along the beach. The music was pouring out of her. She could feel it inside her. It was alive.

She was in the middle of writing a new song when her father called her for the first time since she had left LA. He told her that people were getting concerned over the disappearance of Hannah, and too many reporters were becoming suspicious of the rehab rumor's falseness. To comfort her fans and keep true to all of Hannah's legal contracts, she would need to appear at a few events: a mainstream gossip magazine photo shoot and interview, a cable televised award show where she would be a nominee in two categories and a surprise performer, and a small charity concert in LA that would make headlines but not "overwhelm her recovering mental health".

Despite not having a choice, she agreed to the three events. Performing her music was always something she loved doing, even if she had to be Hannah to do it. They were still fans of _her _music, listening to _her _perform. The interview and photo shoot would be painless; she'd done hundreds of both before. The award show would be the difficult task to accomplish. That one would require her spending time with celebrities that would fake their concern for her and lie about their happiness of seeing her recovering well. Then an after party would take place where she would be thrown into a mix of bitter socialites, fame-hungry wannabes, and drunken musicians whose eyes would always be blinded by the flashing lights.

The events would take up two consecutive weekends. She had no idea what explanations she would give Lilly and Oliver, and she feared that her sudden trips out of town and Hannah's sudden and brief return to the spotlight would be far too coincidental.

There were times when she worried that Lilly would figure out her secret. She had once said to Miley, after meeting her as Hannah in Boston, that she reminded her of someone she had met.

Back in the middle of September, Lilly had been listening to one of Hannah Montana's songs on her iPod while she was doing some homework. Miley could see her own picture on the screen across the table. She could hear the faint sounds of her music and her voice. She had stared, horrified, as Lilly slowly stopped tapping her pen on the paper and had, even slower, looked up at Miley. They had stayed like that for a few moments, until Lilly took the headphones out her ears and asked her to pass the chips. Not a word about Hannah Montana was mentioned.

"Are we still on for the movies tomorrow night?" Lilly asked as Miley joined her at her locker.

"Unfortunately, no. Something came up."

"Aw, like what?"

"I have to go see my dad in LA."

Lilly glanced carefully at Miley. If she knew anything for certain about the girl, it was that she and her father did not get along well. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's just a visit." Miley shrugged. It was hard to lie to Lilly, it left her feeling uneasy.

"We can reschedule the movies." Lilly smiled. "Megan Fox will be just as hot next weekend."

"I'll be busy. I've got a thing." Mentally slapping herself, Miley vowed to start having a collection of believable backup stories ready at all times.

Lilly closed her locker and gave Miley a peculiar side-eye look. "A thing? For the whole weekend?"

"Yeah, a thing. But maybe we can catch the movie during the week?"

"We'll figure something out." Lilly answered distractedly. Her eyes were staring down the hall. Miley turned around to see what it was and found herself face to face with Mikayla.

"Hey there, Southern Belle." Mikayla's smile was innocent and polite, but her eyes were mischievously glancing over Miley's shoulder to Lilly. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I have to say, I didn't take you as a Megan Fox kind of girl. And we all know she's definitely not Lilly's type. She's more into Hispanic women. Or rather, it was a Hispanic woman who she liked _in _her. Look at that, works both ways."

Lilly stepped forward to Miley's side. With a low voice, she nearly growled. "_Mikayla, _stop."

"Chill out. I'm just making casual conversation to my friend here. Isn't that right? Hey, do you ride horses? I've always had this fantasy of fucking a cowgirl." Mikayla winked at Miley. "Do you ride?"

Lilly scoffed. "Stereotyping much? Just because she's from Tennessee, that doesn't mean she knows how to ride a horse."

Miley cleared her throat. "My horse's name is Blue Jeans."

Mikayla laughed and directed herself completely to Miley, ignoring Lilly's presence. "Cute. Where is she?"

"_He _is back in Tennessee."

"I bet you look good riding a horse."

Lilly crossed her arms. "Excuse me."

Mikayla, still ignoring Lilly, kept her eyes firmly on Miley. "Then again, I bet you look good riding a lot of things."

Miley raised an eyebrow. "Have anything specific in mind?"

She smirked and lifted her hand in front of her, suggestively moving her first and middle fingers. "I can think of one or two things."

At seeing how amused Miley was, Lilly stepped between the two girls. "_Sorry _to interrupt, but we don't want to be late for class."

Mikayla slowly, and as seductively as possible, lightly licked the tip of her middle finger while lowering the rest of her fingers so that she was flipping off Lilly.

Lilly groaned and pulled Miley by the arm away and down the hall. "What the hell was all that?"

"She's just trying to bother you, Lilly." Miley pointed out as they headed in a direction that neither of their classes was in.

"Why do you let her flirt with you like that?"

"Like what?"

"You practically encourage it."

"I do no such thing."

"Uh, yeah, you do. I literally just watched the whole thing. _I bet you look so good riding horses_. Ugh, please. She is so annoying."

"Are you saying I wouldn't look good riding a horse?"

"You're totally missing the point here."

"What's the point?"

"That we hate her!"

"Um, _you _hate her. She's never done anything to me for me to hate her."

Lilly abruptly stopped. "So it doesn't bother you that she's flirting with you just to annoy me?"

Miley shrugged. "It shouldn't bother _you_. I mean, it's not like we're dating or anything."

Lilly anxiously looked around them and dropped her voice to a whisper. "That doesn't mean I can't be jealous that she's flirting with you."

"You know, I'm really starting to be confused on where we stand with each other. We never talked about the kiss, and I think that we should."

"That was months ago."

"I know, but it happened and we never talked about it."

"Well, what do you want to say about it?" Lilly's eyes darted down to Miley's lips.

"I don't know." Miley couldn't stop herself from looking at Lilly's lips too. "I guess I'm glad we both decided that it happened way too fast, and I'm glad we took the time to really become friends and get to know each other better."

"But?"

"But…like you said, it was months ago."

"What are you trying to say here?"

Miley groaned and looked around. They were alone in the hallway. "I don't know. I guess, I'm just wondering where we stand. Like, you know, was it a one-time thing or are we still taking the time to be friends first or are we just completely friends now or…what do you think?"

Lilly leaned on the row of lockers behind her. The late bell rang, but both girls wanted to finish this particular conversation. "What would you say…if I said that I don't know what will happen between us?"

"I would probably ask what do you _want_ to happen with us."

"And I would probably say that I don't know."

Miley bit her bottom lip. "Listen, we don't have to make any decisions right now. But it would be nice to know if you're jealous about Mikayla flirting with me because you want to be with me…or because you want to be with Mikayla."

"I _don't_ want Mikayla." Lilly looked shocked that such a thing would ever be considered. "Miley, look, I told you a long time ago that I can't be in a relationship. And I really don't want to have a secret one. That wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"So, basically what you're saying is that you want to keep leading me on until there's an ultimatum made about a relationship. Pretty much exactly what you did to Mikayla?" Miley felt bad about what she was saying but she knew that it was time for answers.

Lilly's jaw fell. "What_ I_ did to _her_? She tried to label me and out me and embarrass me—no, _humiliate_ me. I trusted her. She said she would never tell anyone. She _lied_, that's what she does. I never wanted a relationship with her; I made that clear from the beginning. She was too stubborn and self-absorbed to realize that coming out isn't easy for everyone. I don't want to label myself. I definitely can't be anything other than straight to my parents, especially my dad. Her arrogant, entitled ass doesn't know how I feel or what I go through. She had no right to do what she did to me. And now she harasses me every chance she gets. She's hurt, I understand that, but so am I. I don't deserve for her to treat me like this just because I don't live my life how she wants me to."

They stood in silence for a few moments, letting everything that had been said settle in. Miley reached out and took Lilly's hand in hers. "I guess what we need to do is focus on our friendship. I don't want to lose that."

Lilly nodded. "And friends with benefits hardly ever work out. I don't think we should risk our friendship for something that neither of us will be really satisfied with."

"Okay, it's agreed on then. This friendship is now strictly platonic." Miley was disappointed but she knew that having Lilly as a friend was something she really needed.

"Strictly." Lilly agreed before they went their separate ways to class.

Miley and Jackson headed to LA first thing the next morning for the magazine interview and photo shoot. They planned on returning to Malibu Sunday night, after the award show. As soon as they got to their father's, and ultimately Hannah Montana's, overly extravagant house, Miley had to change into her Hannah outfit and wig. Looking into the mirror, she felt like she was looking at a stranger. She wasn't just looking at herself in a blonde wig and expensive clothes, she was looking at Hannah. She felt so separate from her.

It was so strange. She knew everything that Hannah was about. She knew exactly _who_ Hannah was. But who was Miley? She was still trying to figure that one out. Hannah was meant to be a disguise, but she had worn the mask so much that she had forgotten what it had been hiding. In Malibu, she was closer to herself than she had been since creating Hannah. Lilly and Seaview were helping her rediscover herself, but sitting there looking at her blonde reflection, she began to wonder if there was really anything left to find.

The interview didn't last long. Her publicist and father (who fronted as her manager) told her not to answer the majority of them. The interviewer had become annoyed with their vagueness over Hannah's rehabilitation and mental state, so he ended it early. The following photo shoot went well. She had a knack for faking smiles.

They were done in time for an early dinner, for which she attended as Hannah. Her publicist wanted her to be seen in public. After a quiet meal, they went back to the house and Miley spent the rest of her night texting Lilly. When she awoke the next morning, she had enough time to shower and put on her wig before a trendy fashion designer and chatty clique of stylists arrived. They dressed her in a very elegant yet modern dress with expensive accessories that were subtle but guaranteed to be noticed. Hannah looked really nice. Happy and healthy, that's what they were going for, but it would be up to Miley to sell it. She ate a small lunch in the limo on the way.

The paparazzi and fans along the red carpet were ecstatic to see Hannah. They screamed her name, begging for her attention. She posed and moved along with a good pace. Much to the dismay of the camera crews and interviewers, Hannah talked to no one with a microphone. She went straight into the building and to her seat. She was on her phone, bored and checking Facebook, when someone tapped her shoulder.

She looked up to see Jake Ryan smiling at her. "Hey, stranger."

"Jake!" She jumped up and hugged him.

"Wow, you _are_ different." He laughed. "Or maybe I'm just really zonked out right now. Either way, you look great. Fantastic. Really great. It's so good to see you. Like, really. It's been so long. Rehab, huh?"

"Thanks. I'm feeling a lot better. Are you doing something on stage tonight?"

"Yeah, yeah. Announcing a performance." He winked. "A secret performance."

"Wonder who that could be." She replied, looking around the audience. There weren't many seats left. It wouldn't be long before the show started.

"Just an old friend. You might know her." He smiled.

She smiled back. "I'll catch you at the after party."

An hour of the show went on before Hannah's first category came she lost, she gave a polite smile and clap for the winner until the camera was off her. Her father squeezed her hand reassuringly, something he hadn't done in years. In the second category, she won. She went up to the stage without a thought, but when the award was placed in her hands she realized she had no speech prepared. She walked to the mic and waited for the clapping to cease.

"Um, wow. This was really unexpected. I guess I really want to thank all of my fans. Y'all keep me going. I couldn't ask for better fans. I'd also like to thank everyone who has shown me support the past few months. It means the world to me. To all of my family and friends, thank you so much. I love y'all!"

After she had gone backstage for pictures, she went into the dressing room they had set up for her and changed into the outfit she would perform in. While she waited for them to come and get her, she checked her phone. She had two missed calls from Lilly. Nervously, she lifted the phone to her ear and called her back.

"Hey, sorry I missed your calls. What's up?" She watched the live feed of the show on the TV by the door as she talked.

Lilly cleared her throat. "Oh, you know, just chilling. Nothing much. Watching a little TV, texting Oliver, the usual. It's weird, he told me that I should change the channel to 3 and there's this award show on and, I don't know you probably get this a lot, but did you know that you and Hannah Montana are practically twins? I mean, you two look so much alike. And I know doppelgangers exist and all that, but you two even _sound_ the same. I don't know if I ever told you, but I met Hannah Montana once. At a Tipton hotel in Boston before school started. And when I met you…you reminded me of her. Can you just tell me if I'm crazy or not here? I've been ignoring the connections, but I can't ignore this one. You go to LA the same weekend she gets out of rehab? Please, just tell me what's going on here."

The live feed went to commercial and a backstage worker knocked on the door to tell her that it was time.

"I have to go." She said, trying to keep herself together.

"Really, Miley? You have nothing to say about this? I really just need an answer; I'm driving myself crazy over here."

"Just…" Miley bit her lip and sighed. "…keep watching."

She hung up and followed the worker through the halls and up to the stage. A stylist put a few finishing touches on her while they moved the last of the props around. She could see Jake Ryan from the corner of her eye having his tie adjusted for him. He winked at her and walked out on the stage when the booming voice announced him.

"_It is so great to be here tonight with all of you. The show has been so much fun so far, but it's about to get even better. Our next performer is someone who has broken records, stolen hearts, and set the bar for all those to come. Tonight she's here with a surprise performance just for us. Give it up for my dear friend…Hannah Montana!"_

The curtain rose and the audience cheered. The cameras zoomed around her, looking for the best angles. The band started playing and as an automatic response she started singing. She felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. Like she was Miley watching Hannah perform. It didn't feel like her, but then again she didn't really know what feeling like herself meant anymore. The dance moves came on queue without thought. She was a robot on the stage. She didn't even realize she was smiling until she caught a glimpse of herself on the screen behind her. It scared her that she could be so out of touch with herself. So lost in the disguise. Hannah was taking over again and it terrified her.

She was sweaty and catching her breath when the song ended. She looked into the closest camera and knew that Lilly was in Malibu staring right back at her. She lifted the microphone to her lips. "I'd like to give a special thanks to all of the fans watching at home. Y'all showed me a lot of support while I've been away. I don't know what I would have done without you."

The moment she returned to the dressing room, Lilly called her. "_Are you Hannah Montana_?"

Miley sighed and pulled the blonde wig off her head. She stared at it in her hands. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Okay, well, I'm going to let you be vague right now because we're on the phone and you could potentially be backstage at an a_ward show_, but don't think we aren't discussing this the moment I see you again."

"Yeah, no. I got it. Completely understandable. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Miley stripped herself of the Hannah outfit and took a cool shower. She daydreamed about what Lilly would say when she officially told her. There was no going back, she knew. Lilly was too clever and observant for that. She had probably known since their first meeting in Malibu. Who was she kidding, trying to go to public school _and_ be Hannah was impossible. Everyone would find out eventually.

After the shower she put on an outfit that wouldn't draw too much attention to her but would still pass as something Hannah would wear. She had just put the wig back on when her father entered the room.

"Good job out there tonight." He scratched at his fake facial hair

"Thanks." She started applying her makeup for the after party.

He took a seat on the couch. "The show just ended. Got a little worried when you didn't come back out."

"I didn't feel well." She didn't look at him and kept her expression blank.

"Are you getting sick?"

"I don't know."

"I'll call the doctor in the morning."

"I have school tomorrow."

"Another day in LA won't kill you."

She swallowed hard. "It might."

He looked at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." She put on her lipstick and stood. "I'll go to the party for an hour, but Jackson and I are leaving tonight."

He watched her dig around her purse. "Don't forget about the concert next weekend."

She walked out without another word. The party was boring. Everyone was drunk and taking self-pictures with celebrities that were too nice or intoxicated to say no. She kept to herself until Jake Ryan arrived.

"Rad performance." He smiled. "And speaking of things that are rad, I got some killer shit with me. Bathroom?"

"Isn't that where you got caught the last time?" She laughed, almost as a reflex.

"Oh, dude, you're totally right. Uh, how about we find an empty room somewhere? There's gotta be a storage room around here somewhere. Want to go on an adventure with me?"

She was too bored to say no, so she followed him through a maze of halls until they found a family bathroom with a single toilet and sink. He declared it as "good enough". They locked the door behind them and he pulled out a small bag of cocaine from his pocket and started making lines on the baby changing station.

"Want some?" He asked.

"I'll pass. Been in rehab, remember?"

"Oh, shit, right, my bad. What were you in rehab for again?"

"Mental health stuff. Staying clean though."

He rolled up a hundred dollar bill and snorted a line. "I respect that. Can't say I'm as noble. I need something, you know? I can't take these people and their shit sober."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

He did another line and jumped around the room. "That shit is so good."

"Hey, Jake?"

"Yeah?"

She waited until he stopped jumping around. "What would you do if you could live a normal life? Like, if you could be you but also go to a real school and not be famous. A double life."

"Hmmm." He scratched his chin. "I don't know. I guess I'd be even more bored than I already am."

She jumped up on the sink counter to sit. "Really? You wouldn't like it?"

He stepped closer to her. "The only thing I'm good at is being famous."

"You're good at acting. And you're a good friend."

He stepped even closer until they were inches apart. "What would you do with a double life?"

"Find something real worth living for."

"Dark shit." He whispered, slowly closing in the gap between them.

She gently put her hands on his shoulders and stopped him. "Jake, can you keep a secret?"

He stepped back. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I'm not in rehab." She watched him carefully. "I've been going to a public school. Under a different name with different hair color. No one knows it's me."

"Woah, really?" He smiled. "That's some James Bond shit. What's it like?"

"It's weird. In a good way, though. It's so strange to walk down a crowded hall of people your own age and feel anonymous. No one knows who are. No crowds asking for autographs, no pictures, no paparazzi. I have normal friends." She smiled. "And there's this girl, I guess she's my best friend. But tonight she found out I'm Hannah. I don't know what to do."

"If she's your best friend, tell her the truth." He started jumping around again. "She'll understand. Would she keep it a secret?"

"Yeah, I'm sure she would. It's just…what if things go bad between us? What if something happens and she tells people?"

"Get some insurance."

"Insurance?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, something you can blackmail her with. That's how I keep my connections quiet."

"Oh."

"Does she have anything you could use against her?" He asked as he started doing stretches.

"Well, yeah, but I could never do that to her. I can't blackmail someone."

"You'd be surprised what you'll do when you have no other choice."

"I guess."

He smiled and walked over to her again. He leaned in for a kiss but she stopped him again. "Why do you keep trying that?"

"Why do you keep stopping me?" He grinned.

"Because I don't want to kiss you."

"I respect that." He sighed. "But why? We're both friends, attractive, bored, and obviously pretty good at keeping secrets."

She thought about how easy it would be to like him. They really did get along well. He was a good guy. Even if he wasn't the smartest actor ever, he meant well and that counts for a lot. But the sexual attraction just wasn't there. She knew if she were straight, Jake would be the guy for her. "I like girls."

His face lit up. "_Rad_. Man, you are full of surprises. My twenty year-old cousin is a lesbian. Want me to slip you her number?"

"Thanks, but I'm good. And thanks for the advice. You really are a good friend, Jake."

"No problem. Now come be my wingman. This zombie slayer needs to get laid."

They were still laughing as they returned to the party. She gave him plenty of advice on which celebrity girls to go after and which to steer clear of. As soon as he left with one, she called her driver and went back to the house. Jackson was annoyed that she had spent longer at the party than she had planned, but they left for Malibu despite the late hour.

On Monday she went to school. She waited by her locker for Lilly's arrival. It was close to the bell by the time she showed up. Lilly led her outside to the back of the school. The bell was ringing when they stopped. "Talk."

Miley bit her lip. "It's true."

Lilly crossed her arms and leaned against the wall behind her. "So…you're really her? You're Hannah Montana?"

She glanced around them. "Yeah."

"When were you planning on telling me?"

"I wasn't going to."

Lilly looked hurt. "Why not?"

"It's a secret. A big one. You can't tell anyone, Lilly."

"I won't, but I still need some answers."

"That's fair." Miley nodded.

Lilly nervously played with her fingers. "What's your real name? Are you Hannah or are you Miley?"

"Miley Ray Stewart. Born and raised in Crowley Corners, Tennessee. I have a horse named Blue Jeans. My dad lives in Los Angeles, he's Hannah's manager. He's staying in the house she has there."

"Okay, this is going to sound really pretentious and arrogant, but are you in Malibu because of me? We met in Boston and I told Hannah—uh, _you_ that I live here and go to school here. And then you came to school here. That's not a coincidence, right?"

"It sounds really stalkerish, but I met you and then I decided I wanted to go to a real school and try having a normal life. You were really nice, so I figured I'd try Seaview."

"And that's the complete truth?"

"Yes. I really needed a friend, and I wanted that friend to be you."

"So after graduation, you're just going to go back to being Hannah?"

"I haven't gotten that far yet. I want to go to college, but my life is full of contracts and legal obligations at the moment. I'm lucky I got this year off."

Lilly stared at the ground. Eventually, she looked up at Miley. "Is there anything else you've lied to me about?"

"No, but me being Hannah has to stay a secret. You can't tell anyone. Not even Oliver."

She nodded slowly. "I won't."

"I'm really sorry I lied to you."

"It's okay. I understand why you had to. I've had my suspicions. I mean, it's just a wig and some makeup." She cracked a smile. "And I'd recognize your voice anywhere."

"Do you think other people will figure it out too?"

"Nah, people around here are way too self-absorbed or just plain stupid. I love Oliver, but he'll never figure it out on his own. The boy is oblivious."

Miley pulled Lilly into a hug before they headed back into the school.

Before they parted, Lilly stopped. "So, this thing you're doing this weekend. What is it?"

"A charity concert thing." Miley answered, checking the time.

She grinned. "Do you think you could score me a ticket? Maybe a VIP backstage pass? I could go in disguise, get my very own cheap wig and makeup. No one would ever know it was me."

"Hey, that wig is not cheap." Miley laughed. "But yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. It'd actually be really nice to have a friend there."

By the end of the week, Miley had the ticket and pass and Lilly had a short purple wig and obnoxious makeup. So that Jackson and her father wouldn't find out that Hannah's "_long-time friend Lola_"was actually a girl who had discovered her secret, Miley decided to take the private jet. They arrived that Saturday a few hours before the show. Lola stayed with Hannah in the dressing room until it was time for her to take her front row seat. The opening acts went on and eventually so did Hannah.

She performed on autopilot, just like at the award show. She felt slightly better when she caught glimpses of Lilly smiling up at her from the crowd, but there was still something off. She couldn't help but think that performing had lost its touch. She wasn't enjoying herself. She wasn't even _herself_. Her stomach felt uneasy, her knees were weak. When the last song ended, she walked backstage. The backup dancers and musicians were walking past her. She hadn't realized how slow she had been moving. Her heart was beating fast. The edges of her vision were growing darker and darker. Suddenly she felt weightless.

Miley awoke to find herself laying down on a couch in the dressing room. Her father and her publicist were hovering over her. They helped her sit up and gave her a cup of water to sip from.

"What happened?" She asked.

"You fainted." Her father sighed, rubbing his temples. "Barely made it off the stage. One of the dancers caught you. Good thing too, or that noggin' would've hit the ground hard."

Her publicist smiled as comfortingly as she could. "No one saw, so we're in the clear with that. Just think, the bloggers would have had a field day. _Hannah Montana Faints At Concert_. What a nightmare that would be to deal with. So what is it, honey? Not eating? Drugs? Had a little _something_ to drink before the show?"

"What? No. I'm not on anything." She groaned. Her stomach still felt uneasy.

"So you have no idea why you fainted?" Her father asked.

She leaned back on the couch. "Nope. Can I go to the house now?"

"I want a doctor to check on you first." He said, patting down his adhesive facial hair. "But before we bring anyone else in here, who is _this_?"

Confused as to who he was talking about, she turned to see Lilly standing by the wall with the purple wig in one hand and her backstage pass in the other. She gave a guilty smile and wave.

She turned back to her father. "My friend, why?"

"Well, we were bringing you back here and she came over and asked '_what happened to Miley_'." He raised an eyebrow. "_Miley_."

"Okay, so she knows. It's not a big deal. She's my best friend. I couldn't keep it a secret from her forever."

"Now see this is exactly why I didn't want you going to a public school. I knew this would happen." He threw his hands up. "I knew it!"

"I want to go home." She tried to stand but stumbled back on to the couch.

"Take it easy." He sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Wait until the doctor gets here."

"I feel better. I just want to go."

"Well, I'm worried about you so we're going to wait until a doctor checks you over."

"You never worry, why change that now."

He stopped and stared at her. "You know I worry about you. Got a few gray hairs coming in with your name on 'em." When she didn't reply, he kept going. "Listen here, I know I ain't Father Of The Year material, but I'm doing what I can. Sometimes I think you forget that you're the one who made Hannah. This is the life you wanted. The double life was all your idea."

"So you're blaming me for everything?"

"I ain't blaming you for anything. I'm saying you need to pull up your britches and take responsibility for the choices you've made. Now, I let you run off to Malibu to do public schooling. You were right; you needed some normality in your life. But sweetheart, Malibu ain't doing you any good. Fainting after a show? Being all irritable? All this anger you've had the last few years? That's not you. You need normal, but you need it where we know it. Tennessee."

"What about Tennessee?"

"That's where we're going. I've let this go on for far too long. We need our old Miley back, and Tennessee is the only place where we'll find her. California ain't done much for you, and I can see that now. We'll get Hannah's things in order and tell everyone she's taking some well-deserved time off. Then me, you, and your brother are heading home."

"No!" Miley yelled. "I like Malibu. You can't do this."

"You tried Malibu. I'm fed up with this, Miles. Tennessee seems to be the only option we got left. It'll be good for you, you'll see."

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes. Few months, maybe a year or two. That'd be real nice."

"I have school. I can't take that time off."

"You can go back to homeschooling and still get a diploma."

"No, I want to graduate at Seaview. I want to live in Malibu."

"We'll discuss this more later, but you're going to Tennessee regardless."

"I'll go over Thanksgiving break. That's a whole week."

"You're going to need a lot more than a week."

"Fine, I'll go back for Christmas break. That's two more weeks."

"Thanksgiving through Christmas break, at the minimum. No more negotiating, you need some rest."

Her father and her publicist both left to call a doctor and discuss things in the hallway. Lilly circled around the couch and sat next to her.

"Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly. "Sorry I blew my cover. I freaked out a little when I saw them carrying what looked like your lifeless body down the hall."

"It's fine. I'm fine. Everything will be fine." She leaned back and sighed.

Lilly went in search of a hand towel. She ran water over it and brought it back for Miley to put on her forehead.

"Well." Lilly laughed nervously. "At least the concert rocked."

Miley smiled. "Thanks for being here. I feel a lot better around you."

Lilly brushed back a stray lock of hair behind Miley's ear. "Did you mean it last weekend when you said that you don't know who you are anymore?"

"Yeah. I got a little lost in Hannah's world."

Lilly smiled softly. "_Miley_ is one of the most intriguing, exciting, and attractive people I've met in a very long time. Maybe ever. You're special. I could tell from the moment I met you."

"When we met I was a heavily intoxicated celebrity wandering around a hotel in Boston." Miley laughed. "Of course that would intrigue you."

"No." Lilly reached over and held one of Miley's hands. She stroked the back of it softly with her thumb. "No, I meant when I met _you_. In Malibu. I knew you were special."

"I reminded you of someone famous."

"It's not about that. Fame has nothing to do with how I feel about you."

Miley didn't know how to respond, but she didn't have time to. The dressing room door opened and her father entered with a man that she assumed was some sort of medical professional. After he examined her and talked quietly with her father, they were able to leave and go to Hannah's LA house. Her father wasn't pleased about bringing Lilly, but at the insistence of Miley that it was too late for her to travel to Malibu, she was able to stay the night with them.

They had showered, removed their makeup, and changed into comfortable clothes by the time that Jackson returned home. He was upset that no one had called and told him about the fainting incident, but on the other hand he was glad because he wouldn't have gotten to second base if they had.

"This is the biggest house I've ever seen." Lilly said as she fell back on Hannah's unnecessarily large and fluffy bed. They were alone on their side of the house. The bedroom had soundproofing in the walls so that she could sing or play guitar or practice dance routines whenever she liked and wouldn't disturb anyone else in the house. They could be as loud as they wanted and no one would hear them. The thought turned Miley on, but she had to remind herself that she and Lilly were strictly platonic now.

"It's too much." Miley replied from across the room. She was sitting at the desk, slowly spinning herself in the Hannah Montana embroidered desk chair. The computer was on in front of her but the idea of Facebook or other social media sites bored her.

"Life of the rich and famous." Lilly mumbled, running her hands along the soft comforter.

Miley bit her lip. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows."

"Yeah, I can tell. Rainbows have never made me faint before."

"The doctor said I overexerted myself or something."

"Do you think that's what happened?"

"Maybe. I haven't performed that much in a while and I didn't even practice before, so it's a really good possibility. But I don't know, when I was on stage…it didn't feel like me. I know this sounds crazy, but it was like I was watching myself perform. Everything just sort of happened and I was just thinking about other things and I got really scared at one point and then I guess I blacked out."

"That sounds really scary."

"It was."

"I thought your dad was going to kill me." She laughed. "He looked so pissed when I accidentally called you Miley."

"Yeah. He doesn't want anyone to know my secret…but sometimes I don't know which secret that is."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes I think maybe he doesn't want the world to know he has a gay daughter. Sometimes I think he's embarrassed of the real me…whoever that is."

Lilly stood and walked over to where Miley was sitting. She cupped her face and pulled her close. "Miley Ray Stewart, you are a good person. You are special and smart and talented and a good friend. You are not an embarrassment. People who think like that are dumb, because they don't know what they're missing out on. I love getting to know you more. You've very quickly become one of my favorite people on this planet. You're so strong and brave. You've done things I could never do. You went to public school and just _came out_. Just like that. You decided to try to be yourself and not care what other people thought, and that takes a lot of courage. You are _not_ an embarrassment."

Miley wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but the moment passed when neither girl acted on their mutual desires. Lilly went back to the bed and Miley shut down the computer. They got into bed and talked for a long while about what Crowley Corners was like before drifting off to sleep. When they woke up, they found themselves spooning. They both pretended to awkwardly laugh though neither felt awkward about the situation. Miley had never slept as well as she had with Lilly pressed against her.

The following weeks were stressful. Miley's father called her every day to check on her and let her know what the latest news was on the Tennessee plans. He mentioned several times that her grandma was excited to hear that they were coming to stay for so long.

For Halloween, Lilly ditched her annual party plans to hang out and watch horror films with Miley. They both enjoyed it, but the holiday only meant that Thanksgiving/Fall break was right around the corner. Miley spent every day of the remaining three weeks that she could with Lilly. When Lilly had soccer, Oliver and Miley went to every game no matter how far away it was. Lilly was a fierce competitor on the field. Oliver said she had a lot of potential for going pro.

But all too soon their time was up. She had said bye to Oliver during the half day at school. He was told that she was going on vacation to her hometown through the holidays and would be back when school resumed after Christmas break. At least, that was what Miley hoped would happen.

Lilly came over to Miley's after school to say bye. Jackson was outside helping load up the cab that would take them to the airport while they talked.

"I'm going to miss you." Lilly admitted, sheepishly looking at the floor.

"I'll miss you too. But I'll be back before you know it." Miley tried to give a hopeful smile.

"We _hope_." Lilly sighed.

"Yeah." Miley nodded. "We hope."

Lilly looked up into Miley's eyes and they both prepared for a kiss that neither girl instigated. "We'll call and text all the time."

"Every day." Miley replied.

Lilly reached into her pocket and pulled out a hand-woven hemp bracelet with decorative beads in Miley's favorite colors. "Happy birthday, by the way. Four days early is close enough."

Miley was overwhelmed with emotion while watching Lilly tie the bracelet onto her wrist. "Thank you. I love it, Lilly, I really do. It's wonderful."

"What are best friends for." She shrugged, pulling Miley into a long hug. They didn't let go until the cab driver honked the horn outside.

"I guess I'll see you later." Miley couldn't stop herself from glancing at Lilly's lips. They were so inviting, so tempting.

"You _will_ see me later." Lilly corrected.

They both waited a little longer in case the other was going to initiate a kiss, but nothing happened. Together they walked outside. Lilly stayed on the driveway waving until the cab was out of sight.


	5. Tennessee

**Chapter 5 – Tennessee**

* * *

The sun was beating down on Miley as she hiked through the grass. She welcomed the cool shade of the trees as she entered the familiar woods. Her destination was a creek not far from her grandmother's home. It was just far enough away that no one would find her by accident. When she finally came upon it, she was overwhelmed. Nostalgia hit her like a train. She could see herself across the way, dancing along the waterbed with her mother. And again, splashing in the waterfall with a boy she used to know.

Walking down to the elongated rock that her much younger self had named The Bench, she sat and breathed in the world around here. So many memories had flooded her since she had returned to Tennessee with her father and Jackson. Her mother's presence was closer than ever.

Not a day went by that she didn't talk to Lilly, though their conversations were usually kept brief. It was Fall Break, but Lilly's father was in California visiting. She was busy spending time with him, and Miley was busy reconnecting with her own family. And, much to her surprise, she was actually enjoying herself.

There were delicious home cooked meals every night. Jackson's big city California swagger was enticing to the small town Crowley Corners girls. Her father had become increasingly less stressed, putting them all in better moods. Her grandmother was overjoyed to have them. The extended family had been over for dinner twice, all very interested in California life and skeptical of vitamin water. On Thanksgiving, they all gathered for the biggest family dinner the town of Crowley Corners had ever seen. Miley found herself smiling and laughing and just feeling _good_. With Hannah far from her mind, she was at ease.

Watching the streaming water of the creek, she came to the conclusion that things were very peaceful for her. She now understood why her father had insisted on returning to Tennessee. He had been right. But the absence of Lilly was always looming around her. She missed her best friend, the only friend she had ever really had. Several nights she had found herself dreaming of the beautiful blonde. One dream had Lilly pushing her up against the lockers at Seaview and passionately kissing her, another had them rolling in the sand on the beach, but her favorite was a cheesy dream in which the two ran across a field of flowers to each other.

Her attraction to Lilly was troublesome, due mostly to the fact that they had recently declared themselves as strictly platonic friends. No matter how hard she tried to repress her feelings, they showed in her dreams and in her wandering thoughts. Even when Lilly was across the country, she was everywhere.

Miley picked up a leaf and stroked it absentmindedly. Deep in thought, she didn't realize that someone had joined her at the creek. After realizing that his presence wasn't going to be detected anytime soon, her father cleared his throat, causing Miley to jump.

"God, you scared me!" She threw the leaf at him and he laughed as it spiraled off into the wind.

"Didn't mean to." He joined her on The Bench with a smile on his face.

"How did you know where I was?" She asked while she watched a squirrel scurry over for a drink across the creek.

"Your Momma used to bring ya way out here when ya were little. Jackson said he saw ya heading this way, figured I'd find ya here."

She bit her lip. "I miss her."

He put his arm around her shoulders. "Me too, Bud. Me too."

"I'm sorry things got so complicated with Hannah."

"It ain't your fault. We all overestimated what ya could handle. It wasn't right. If anybody should be sorry, it should be me. I didn't pay enough attention when I should have. My baby girl was slipping away right in front me and I didn't notice until it was too late."

"It's not too late."

"I can see that now." He smiled that kind of paternal smile. "I love ya, Miles. More than you'll ever know. All I ever wanted to do was to make your dreams come true. Guess I let it all that dream chasing get a little out of hand."

"I love you too, Dad." They hugged and it felt right for both of them. No awkwardness, no misplaced anger.

"I can't remember the last time I heard ya call me that."

She hugged him tighter. "I promise never to take you for granted again, if you promise to love me no matter what."

"Ya know I do, Bud."

"Promise me."

"Miley Ray Stewart, I promise to love ya no matter what."

Letting go of him, she turned back to the creek and took a deep breath.

"I'm gay."

It was quiet for a few moments until he responded. "I know."

"And?"

He shrugged. "And what? I don't know what I'm supposed to say here."

She stared at him. "Say you still love me."

"Ya know I still love ya. No matter what, remember?"

"And you really mean it, right?"

He scooted closer to her and put his arm back around her shoulders. "Miley, I would still love ya even if ya grew a third eye and your skin turned purple and ya started talking Martian talk. Even if ya got a hankering for my own flesh and blood, I'd love ya. Doesn't matter what ya are, Kiddo, you're stuck with me."

"I'm going to ignore that you chose to make homosexuality synonymous with being an alien." She laughed.

"Aw, come on." He chuckled. "Let a man try. This is all new to me. I ain't the perfect dad, but I'll be there for ya. No matter what. I might not be too hip about all this, but a man can learn. It's not the path I would've chosen for ya if I could've helped it, but if this is the road you're supposed to take then I ain't letting ya travel down it alone."

"Thanks." Miley smiled.

He jokingly nudged her. "Ya got any more big reveals in store for your old man?"

She shrugged. "I'm in love with my best friend…and I don't know what to do about it."

"The girl from the concert?"

She nodded. "Lilly Truscott. What should I do?"

He shook his head. "All I can say is that love is a mighty powerful thing that shouldn't be taken lightly. Ain't anybody out there that's got all the answers, Bud. Hell, even me and your Momma had our ups and downs and we were about as perfect as a couple could get. Fit together like music and dancing. It all just flowed. Just worked. Her, and Jackson, and you…y'all are the best things that ever happened to me and it was all because of love. That kind of thing…ain't anything more important in this world than love. I can't tell ya what do with your friend, but I want ya to really appreciate what you're feeling. Some people never experience love. Some people love too much. But I'll be damned if love ain't God's greatest gift. Doesn't make a lick of sense not to let people love who they want to love."

Miley grinned. "That's a little bit more general than I was going for, but thanks for the sappy love-is-all-you-need speech, Romeo."

"Hey now." He laughed and squeezed her shoulders. "It's good to be able to really talk with ya again."

"I love being here, Dad, I really do. You were completely right about Tennessee. Everything is so right here."

He sighed. "I feel a 'but' coming."

"_But_ I miss Lilly. I miss her so much. Being so far away from her is hard."

"So ya really think ya love this girl?"

"I would give up Hannah for her. The money, the cars, the private jets, the award shows, the concerts, the music…all the perks. I would give it all up if it meant I could be with her. I hate having to hold it all in."

"What's stopping ya from being with her?"

"She doesn't want a relationship with a girl because of what her parents will think. And I understand, that's her business and her life. I can't be mad about her decision, but I love her, Dad."

"That's tough situation, Bud." He sighed.

"I don't know what to do."

"This something ya gotta work out on your own. But I'll tell ya this. It's a lot better to have some 'oh wells' than some 'what ifs'. Ya can't live with regret. Ya gotta climb that mountain and keep climbing, no matter how much ya want to make that mountain move. But ya gotta remember that it ain't about how fast ya get there or what's waiting on the other side for ya. Sometimes…it's about that climb up."

"It's the climb." Miley muttered. The cogs began turning in her head, her head started to bob and her feat started to tap. "There's always gonna be another mountain…I'm always gonna want to make it move."

"How 'bout that." He grinned. "Got your old man's talents."

"Come on!" Miley jumped up. "I need a guitar, like _right now_! Move, Daddy, _move_!"

Together they rushed back to the house. With guitars in hand, they wrote a song that put into words what Miley had been missing for so long. It was the melody that she had been searching for. The words she didn't know she had been without. She felt that every part of her heart and soul was in this song.

When the final note was written and the last chord was strung, all Miley could do was be overwhelmed with the desire to share the song with Lilly.

The following day, Miley went to church with her father. After the service, she walked with her grandmother down the aisle toward the doors. They politely waved to the other Crowley Corners citizens as they went.

"Grandma, you'd love me no matter what, right?"

She stopped and took her granddaughter's hand between her own. "Of course, Miley. I'd love ya even if ya got turned into a darn alien by some space invaders comin' down and stealin' all the cows and ya grew some extra eyes and got yourself turned all green. Now that's some love right there."

"What is it with this family and aliens?" Miley sighed.

"Jackson showed me and your daddy that science fiction movie with all the ugly space aliens invading and blowing up the town. Bit too off the map for my taste but Jackson had a good ole time with it."

"Look, nobody is turning into an alien. I just wanted to let you know that I…I like girls. In a gay way. I like them in gay way. _That_ way."

She smiled softly and pulled Miley into a hug. "There ain't anything wrong with love, Miley Ray Stewart. My family, my friends…the love that I have for them is the most precious and important thing I will ever know. If ya love someone, there is nothing wrong with that. If anyone ever tells ya different, remind them to brush the dust off their bible."

"What about religious arguments against homosexuality? What would you say to all of that?"

She touched at a few locks of Miley's hair. "Where there is love…there is God. I know ya ain't never been much of a church goer, Miley, and I ain't gonna preach anything ya don't want to hear…but I want ya to know that God loves ya. No matter what ya believe, no matter who ya love, no matter what ya are. If people that say otherwise…well, they're just putting a bunch of hatred in a place where it just doesn't belong."

"Thanks, Grandma. I'm really glad everyone has been so supportive. It's surprising, to say the least. And I actually…I wanted to know what your advice would be about a…particularly touchy situation."

"What kind of a situation?"

"A relationship one."

"With a girl?"

"My best friend. She likes me, and she would want a relationship but she's concerned about what her parents would think about her dating a girl. But I love her. I care about her so much. I would do _anything_ for this girl. She's the reason I was able to get out of that slump I was in. She's why I wanted to give public school a try. I knew there was something special about her the moment we first met. And she doesn't care about the Hannah thing. She sees me as Miley…she cares about the real me. I just…I want to be with her. Being strictly platonic friends is harder than I thought it would be. I don't know what to do."

Her grandmother took a deep breath and looked around the inside of the church. "I don't think anyone can give ya any good advice here. Sounds like it's going to be up to y'all two. Y'all are just going to have to have a good sit down and talk it out. Get all those feelings out there. Don't be afraid to tell someone that ya love them. Ya never know when it's going to be too late."

Miley pulled her into a long hug. "Thanks, Grandma."

"No wonder ya had a breakdown, Child." She chuckled. "Ya got way too much on your plate."

"Believe me, I didn't mean to overfill it." Miley replied as the two walked out of the church together.

The next day, Miley was awakened early by her brother.

"Jackson, the sun isn't even up yet." Miley groaned. "What do you want?"

He laughed. "It's a surprise, just get ready."

"Ready for what?" She yawned.

He stopped in the doorway and grinned. "Trust me, you're going to like it."

After slowly making herself presentable, Miley found herself in the backseat of the rental car. Her father and Jackson refused to answer her questions as they drove. The sun was up by the time they reached their destination.

"Why are we at the airport?" Miley groggily asked, only to yet again be ignored.

They exited the car and went into the building. Only a few people were there besides the Stewarts, mostly employees. Her father and Jackson sat down but Miley went to check which flights were coming in. Suspecting that the surprise was something Hannah related, she checked for anything coming from California but didn't find anything. Nothing from New York either. The next flight coming in would be from Nashville, Tennessee.

"Is this something to do with Hannah?" Miley asked, sitting down between her father and brother.

"No." Jackson answered, getting a side glance from their father. "Just hold on to your britches."

It was a long time after the plane had arrived before passengers started filing out into the lobby. Miley curiously looked at every face, looking for their mysterious guest. The three of them moved to stand closer to the gate. It seemed like all had passed through.

Miley sighed and turned around to face them. "Please don't tell me y'all got me up this early for nothing."

The two men smiled and looked over her shoulders. Jackson laughed. "Why don't you just turn back around."

Confused, she turned. Standing in the gate with a smile on her face was someone Miley had thought about every day since the two had parted. The moment that they made eye contact, Lilly dropped her bags and ran. They met in the middle in the biggest hug that the two had ever shared.

"What are you doing here?" Miley's heart was beating fast and her head was spinning. Not once had she ever thought that Lilly would be in Tennessee with her.

"Seeing _you_." Lilly laughed as their hug broke apart. They beamed at each other. Their reunion had caught quite a bit of attention from others in the airport lobby. It probably looked as if the girls hadn't seen each other in years. "Your family called. They wanted to surprise you."

Miley looked back at her father. "You did this?"

He shrugged. "It was Jackson's idea."

Jackson gave a thumbs up and laughed even harder when Miley rushed over and hugged him. "Thank you, Jackson. This means a lot to me."

"Hey, I just came up with the suggestion. Dad's the one who threw down the plane ticket money."

Miley smiled up at her father. "Thank you."

He nodded and glanced over at Lilly while she retrieved her discarded luggage. "I figured it'd be the least I could do, considering I made ya come all the way out to Tennessee. Besides, we got that one guest bedroom just sitting there. Might as well get some use out of it."

Lilly came over to the Stewarts and hugged both Jackson and Miley's father. "Thank you so much, Mr. Stewart. This really is amazing and my dad is totally willing to pay you back for any expenses."

"Don't worry about a thing." He smiled politely. "A friend of Miley's is a friend of the family's."

They took a longer, more scenic way home so that they could show Lilly points of interest around the area. It was the perfect time of year, too. The leaves had changed and would start to fall soon. It was cold but snow hadn't begun to fall yet. The colors were vibrant blurs as they drove.

They returned just in time for breakfast. Noticing that an extra plate was already set, Miley gave her grandmother a big hug before introducing their guest. She was surprised that Lilly had yet to be bombarded with questions, but she knew that after the plates were filled that the family would surely target her. Sure enough, the moment Miley took her first bite of toast the polite interrogation began.

"So." Miley's grandmother smiled across the table at Lilly. "Y'all are good friends? You and Miley?"

Lilly hurriedly swallowed her mouthful of eggs and nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, hush, Child. We leave the ma'am and the sir at the door." She chuckled. "Call me Grandma Ruby. So how'd y'all girls meet? At school in California?"

Lilly glanced at Miley, unsure of what all exactly she might have told her family about. Miley cleared her throat to draw the attention to her. "It was in Boston. I was there for a Hannah thing. I was actually Hannah when we met."

Miley's father looked between the two girls. "What had ya in Boston, Lilly?"

"I was visiting my dad. He travels a lot with his work. We were staying at the same hotel Miley was at. I ran into her in the elevator right before my taxi came to take me to the airport." Lilly was very comfortable around the family, Miley could tell. She didn't even look nervous.

"After I met Lilly in Boston, I decided to try out public school. She told me she went to Seaview in Malibu…so I just went there." Miley couldn't help but notice how the light from the kitchen windows was touching Lilly's skin, making her tan glow. Her eyes were bright in the sunlight, her smile energetic, her lips an inviting pink. Maybe it was just how long they had been apart, or maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, Miley suddenly had the urge to kiss Lilly and to never stop.

After breakfast, Miley showed Lilly around the house and to the guest room. She made sure to point out that her own room was right next door. Lilly wanted to see the horses, so Miley took her out to the barn across the property.

Miley smiled brightly and gestured to the horse behind her. "This is Blue Jeans."

"Oh, wow." Lilly beamed up at the horse and hesitantly reached out to the pet it.

After watching Lilly for a few moments, Miley thought about what her father and grandmother had said when she'd gone to them for advice. "So what do you think?"

"He's beautiful." Lilly giggled as he whinnied.

"Yeah, he's a real stud muffin." Miley nodded. "But I meant about Tennessee? About all of this?"

Lilly leaned against a wooden post. The light from outside hit her just right so that she had an angelic outline. "I like it here. It's nice. Your family is great. And Grandma Ruby is hilarious."

"Yeah, that woman is a hoot."

"What about you? How has Tennessee been for you?"

"It's good, yeah. I love being home."

"More than Malibu?"

Miley bit her lip. "I don't know. It's like two different worlds, you know?"

"Everyone misses you back there. Oliver said to say hi for him."

"Tell him I say hey back."

"Yeah, sure thing."

It was quiet for a few moments before Miley stepped closer to Lilly. "I've…I've thought about you a lot since I left."

Lilly looked up into Miley's eyes. Their undeniable connection was stronger than ever. "I've thought about you a lot, too."

"I came out to my dad and grandma. They were both surprisingly accepting and supportive about it."

"That's great! I'm really happy for you."

"And I told them about you."

Lilly's face fell. "Told them _what_ about me?"

Miley shrugged uncomfortably. "I told them we had a thing. They aren't going to tell anyone."

Lilly crossed her arms defensively. "So your whole family thinks I'm gay?"

"No, I never told them you were."

"I'm not gay!"

"I never said you were _anything_. I never labeled you."

"But you didn't say I wasn't gay." She threw her hands up. "So obviously they're going to assume that I am. This is why I didn't want anyone to know anything. All it takes is one slip up and my parents will hear about it."

"Maybe you should give them some more credit. I was scared of what my family would think and they surprised me. You don't know what your parents will do for sure."

"But I do! I know they'll look at me differently! I don't want to lose my parents. They're not like your family, Miley. I'm not the most important thing in the world to my dad, okay? He cares more about his work than about me or my mom. If he found out about any of this...I would lose him forever. I can't do that. I love my dad. I don't want him to be embarrassed to talk about me. I don't want him to be ashamed to be my father. And I can't let my mom find out because she _will_ tell him. She tells him everything that I do wrong so that she can make him feel guilty about leaving, like his absence is the root of all my problems. She blames him for every mistake I make. I can't let them find out, Miley. I can't do it." Lilly broke into tears and all Miley could do was pull her into a tight embrace. She rubbed her back soothingly until the sobs stopped.

"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful about what I say."

Lilly wiped the tears from her face. "Let's do something fun. Anything."

Miley nodded. "I've got something I want to show you."

They went back to the house and up to Miley's room where Miley played Lilly the new song that she and her father had written together. Lilly was left in awe, completely speechless. Feeling highly self-conscious about her work, Miley asked what she thought of it.

"It's amazing." Lilly shook her head. "I've never heard something so…_amazing_ before. Speaking as both your friend and a fan of your music, I think it's incredible. People are going to love this song."

Miley strummed absentmindedly on her guitar. "I don't know if I want Hannah to have this one, you know? It's personal and true to everything that I came to Tennessee to find. I don't want it to be hers."

"You always talk about Hannah like she's a different person and not just you in a wig."

"She _is_ a different person. Other than a love of music, I'm nothing like her. When I put on that wig and get in front of the cameras and the fans and the lights…it's like a switch gets flipped. I was trained to do that. I grew up being taught how to act a certain way, how to dress, how to respond to questions, how to move, how to present myself…it's not me, it's what the media made Hannah become. That's why I needed to get away from it all so bad. I got lost in Hannah. I didn't even know I had let her take over. I thought I was angry for no reason, but I was angry because I wasn't me. I don't know if this is making sense or if I sound crazy…but I was buried under Hannah. Malibu helped me realize that, but being here in Tennessee is what got me out of that hole. And I have you to thank for everything. Meeting you was what made me get out of that nightmare. It wasn't just Malibu that helped me, it was you."

Lilly shrugged. "All I did was be your friend."

Miley smiled softly. "And that's exactly what I needed."

Lilly's eyes glanced down at Miley's lips. "Earlier when you said you thought about me a lot since you left…what all did you think about, exactly?"

Miley sat down her guitar and scooted closer to Lilly on the bed. "I don't know. I guess about how much our friendship means to me and how much I care about you and how amazing I think you are and…how beautiful you are…and how much I love you."

Lilly's brows furrowed and with a look that bordered on pained, she leaned forward. Their lips were inches apart, Miley's eyes had already closed in anticipation, but Lilly stopped herself. With much internal conflict, she pulled back and shook her head. "I can't do this."

Miley tried to not sound disappointed. "It's okay."

Lilly looked into Miley's eyes, so much sadness swimming in her own. "No, it's not okay. Because I love you, too."

They stared at each other for a few moments, both unsure of what they should do next. A call from Miley's father downstairs broke them out of their intensity and together they joined the family in the dining room for lunch. Neither girl acted like anything unusual had happened.

After eating grilled cheese sandwiches, Grandma Ruby took the girls into town to the market so that they could do a little shopping. Miley and Lilly were just thankful for the distraction. They brought home takeout and after dinner everyone watched a movie in the family room together. As soon as the movie ended, everyone was off to bed; all exhausted from their early morning wakeups.

Miley tossed and turned, tired but unable to sleep. She had far too much on her mind for sleep. Late into the night, or rather early in the morning, Miley finally managed to drift off to sleep. It didn't last too long, however, because someone crept into her room and slipped into her bed shortly after. Miley jumped awake when Lilly's arm pressed against her own.

"Lilly? What are you doing? It's two in the morning." Miley rubbed her eyes, almost concerned that she might be dreaming.

"I couldn't sleep." Lilly admitted. "I feel bad about today—uh, yesterday, or whatever. We left things kind of awkward."

"So you decided to get in my bed?" Miley wasn't complaining, merely curious.

Lilly half shrugged. "I just couldn't get over this…feeling."

Miley searched Lilly's eyes for a hint of what was on her mind. "What feeling?"

Lilly stared for a few moments before slowly closing the gap between them and pressing her lips against Miley's. When they parted, Lilly stayed close and whispered. "A feeling that I needed to do that."

"What are we going to do, Lilly?" Miley closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Lilly's. "We can't be together but we can't seem to stay away from each other."

"I don't know. I wish things didn't have to be so complicated." Lilly sighed.

Miley opened her eyes and stared at Lilly's lips. "You know…things will be complicated in the morning no matter what we do tonight."

A small smirk crossed Lilly's lips. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Miley mumbled as she pressed her lips against Lilly's. More kisses followed, increasingly more passionate. Soon their hands started to roam. Up each other's backs, down their sides, hungrily across their stomachs. When their tongues met in a heated kiss, a spark of lust and passion erupted deep within Miley. She found herself pressing her hips into Lilly's, desperate to be touched.

Lilly pulled Miley on top of her, the brunette straddling the blonde. Miley trailed a line of kisses down Lilly's neck, enjoying the faint moans that escaped as her head fell back. Miley kissed as much of the exposed neck as she could, taking note of the more sensitive spots. Her hands slowly, almost teasingly, slipped under Lilly's shirt and moved up. When she reached the ever present sports bra, she moved back to kissing Lilly's lips. Her hands continued on, cupping Lilly's breasts and gently squeezing them. She could feel her erect nipples pressed against her palms through the fabric. The feeling sent another tingling wave through Miley, this one landing right between her legs.

Lilly pushed herself up so that she was sitting. Miley watched as she pulled off her shirt and her bra in one fluid motion. Miley couldn't help but stare. Lilly's breasts bordered perfection. She was pulled from her fascination by Lilly when the blonde grabbed Miley's hands and pressed them to her bare chest, falling back against the bed and bringing Miley with her. Their lips hungrily met again. Miley seductively caressed Lilly's breasts, teasing her nipples with her thumbs.

Miley repositioned herself so the she was between Lilly's legs. Immediately, their hips started to move and they started to grind against each other. It was slow and erotic. Lilly spread her legs, giving Miley more room to press against her while her hands tightly gripped Miley's hips.

Miley was about to kiss down Lilly's neck again, but was stopped.

"Are you okay?" Miley asked quietly.

"I don't think we should go any further." Lilly swallowed hard. "I want to. _God_, do I want to. But it doesn't feel right. Yeah, things will be complicated no matter what…but this is just going to further complicate things. We both know that."

"We tried platonic friendship. It didn't work." Miley pointed out.

"What are we going to do?"

"I think our options are limited."

"We could try just being friends again."

"Neither of us wants that. And we're not going to _stop_ being friends."

Lilly sighed. "A secret relationship wouldn't be fair to either of us."

Miley's voice fell to a whisper. "But wouldn't it be better than nothing at all?"

"Something will happen. One of us will get fed up with the situation. We both know that will happen. It's not a good idea."

"It's the best option we have. And I can keep a secret, Lilly. I know I messed up by talking to my family about you but I only told them because I was asking for advice on what to do when you're in love with your best friend."

Lilly blinked. Very suddenly, she pulled Miley into the most loving kiss the two had ever shared. When they parted, Lilly whispered. "I'm in love with you, too."

"We can do this." Miley smiled hopefully. "We can be together without anyone knowing. Best friends to the public…girlfriends behind closed doors. No public displays of affection, no relationship status changes on the Internet, not a word to my family…not a word to your family."

"This is going to backfire, I can feel it."

"Do you want to be with me?"

Lilly looked deep into Miley's eyes. "Yes."

"Then let me love you." Miley followed with a kiss, which was followed with several more kisses, which was followed with the removal of Miley's shirt.

Lilly's hands went to Miley's exposed chest the moment that their lips reunited. Miley's own hands were propping herself up as she started sensually grinding against Lilly again. Lilly broke their kisses and looked up at her with a seductive stare that sent chills down her spine.

"You are the hottest secret girlfriend ever." Lilly smirked.

"Shut up." Miley laughed before kissing her neck. She kissed her way down her collar bone. She moved further down and took an erect nipple into her mouth, gently sucking at it and flicking it with her tongue. Lilly arched her back underneath her before pressing herself harder against Miley.

The brunette continued on, kissing down her abs until she was stopped by her shorts. Glancing up at Lilly, who was biting her lip in anticipation, Miley moved so that she was vertical again and slipped off Lilly's shorts and panties. After adding them to the clothes pile on the side of the bed, Miley kissed her way up Lilly's left thigh until she reached her destination. Lilly was already wet, the sight making Miley aware of her own wetness.

She kissed around the trimmed area before flicking her tongue over Lilly's clit. A moan escaped her and Miley went to work. Every lick and kiss and gentle suck made Lilly squirm with pleasure on the bed. It didn't take long for Lilly to reach her climax, her toes curling and her back arching and her hand covering her mouth to stifle the moans. As she was coming down, Miley kissed her way back up to Lilly's lips. Another wave of desire shot through Miley when Lilly pulled her into a passionate kiss, tasting herself on Miley's tongue.

"Take off your pants." Lilly grinned up at her new lover, still slightly out of breath.

Their late night activities went on for a long time. They were both panting and sweaty by the time they were finished. Warm under Miley's blankets, they spooned and cuddled and talked until the sun began to rise. They finally drifted off to sleep, holding each other close.

* * *

Reviews much appreciated.


	6. Hurt

**Chapter 6 – Hurt**

* * *

Lilly spent a few more days in Tennessee before flying back to Malibu. After the holidays came to a close, Miley and Jackson returned as well. The second semester of school began and Miley was nearly overwhelmed in her attempt to catch up. But with Lilly and Oliver's help, she was back on track by February.

Schoolwork, though as difficult as it was, wasn't Miley's only struggle. It was hard, she quickly learned, to have a secret girlfriend. Not even Jackson or Oliver knew of Miley and Lilly's relationship. And with every passing day, Lilly's paranoia grew worse. She became convinced that others could tell, picky about how close they could walk next to each other in the halls, and deeply saddened by the weight of her anxiety. It was especially bad for her on Valentine's Day.

"This is such a stupid holiday." Lilly groaned in Miley's general direction, messing up her locker combination for the second time. When she finally managed to open it, a single rose and card was waiting for her. Lilly gasped and shut her locker with such force that the colliding metal sound drew the attention of everyone around them. After all eyes had left them, Lilly turned to Miley and whispered, "I can't believe you did that."

"It was supposed to be romantic." Miley mumbled.

An unwelcome, sultry voice spoke from behind them. "Well, if it isn't the lovebirds cheesing it up on the _best_ day of the year."

Lilly sighed. "Not now, Mikayla."

"Want to know why it's the best day of the year?" Mikayla wiggled her eyebrows. "Because all the bitter single girls are like sitting ducks. And let me tell you, I'm on the prowl."

Miley shook her head. "You sound like a horny frat boy."

"Deep down inside, we're all horny frat boys." Mikayla glanced at Lilly. "But I guess some of us are just horny _for_ the frat boys."

Lilly aggressively swiveled around to face Mikayla. She puffed out her chest, took a deep breath, and stood there. After a few minutes of intense staring, she clenched her jaw and said, "Stop bothering us."

"What's got you all worked up?" Mikayla laughed. "What, did the bitter single girls part make you jealous? Come on, Lil, you know you miss me."

Trying to keep her cool, Lilly took a step back and remained silent.

Mikayla only smirked. "There it is." She turned to Miley. "The secret to keep them wanting more is great orgasms. Some real 'she comes first' bullshit, you know? You've got to have them screaming your name when their coming. That's the way me and Lil and used to be. You know, back when_ I_ was her secret fuck buddy rather than _you_."

Next thing Miley knew, she was leaving the principal's office after giving her view of the events leading up to what would be known as the Epic Valentine's Day Brawl between Lilly and Mikayla. What the fight lacked in length, it made up for in excessive violence. Miley reluctantly took a seat next to a bruised up Mikayla in the waiting area.

"She's out of control." Mikayla whispered, adjusting how she was holding a bag of ice against her swollen cheek.

"You're one to talk."

"Stop the high school petty drama for a second, okay? I'm being serious here."

"When have you ever been serious?"

"I care about her, okay? I know that might make us unlikely friends, but it's the truth. And if you care about her too, you'll hear me out."

Miley bit her lip. "Okay. Fine. Talk."

"Has Lilly ever hit you?"

"Of course not."

"Exactly. She's not a violent person. The only other time she has ever hit someone is that time I tried to convince her to come out."

"So?"

"_So_? Lilly just decked me in a school hallway on Valentine's Day. Being in the closet is damaging her. If you'd stop being so blindly in love for five seconds, maybe you'd notice. She's responding with fists rather than words, you could fit tiny ass Chihuahuas in the goddamn bags under her eyes, she's irritable as fuck…she's losing it. Now, let's get over the fact that I know you two are a thing and let's focus on the fact that your _easily noticeable_ thing is hurting her."

"And what do you suggest I do?"

"Something."

Miley stared at Mikayla. "Well, _I'm_ confused. I thought all of this was leading up to you giving some kind of actual heartfelt advice."

She sighed and looked up with so much sincerity and concern that Miley almost didn't recognize her. "Trust me, alright? Don't make the same mistakes that I made. I can't sit by and watch you fuck it all up. Lilly is an amazing girl. She deserves someone who will go above and beyond for her. Don't sit around and wait for the inevitable. If you let her get worse, you're only going to hate yourself. She is suffocating in that closet, can't you see that? So don't just sit and wait for the breakup fight. Be for her what I couldn't be. Help her. _Do something_."

"I…I don't know what there is that I can do."

"Hey, don't ask me. If I knew what to do, do you really think my face would be all fucked up right now?"

"The problem is her parents. They seem to be the source of everything she's afraid of. She really doesn't want to lose her dad."

"The ones with daddy issues always pack the meanest punch." Mikayla chuckled. "Hey, you know, this might be a little random but if you squint your eyes and tilt your head, you kind of look like that one celebrity. What's-her-name."

"Shania Twain?"

"Who the fuck is Shania Twain? No, no. You look like that popstar. The one with the shitty music, boning that junkie Jake Ryan, got famous forever ago?"

"I get that a lot."

"No, it's like…uncanny. Are you sure you know which one I'm talking about? That Hannah Montana chick? You know, the one who dropped out of the public eye the exact same time that you showed up at Seaview?" Before Miley could get out a word, Mikayla started laughing. "Oh my god, you should have seen your face. Come on, do you really think I'm that stupid?" Stunned, Miley watched as Mikayla rocked back and forth in her chair. "Oh, that was a good." She wiped a tear from her good eye. "I mean, _really_, why the fuck would _you_ be Hannah Montana? But I had you going, you have to admit."

"Wait." Miley blinked. "What?"

"Calm down, I was fucking with you. I don't actually think you're some shitty rich popstar." Mikayla gently repositioned her ice bag again.

"Oh." Miley was still recovering from the almost-but-not-really discovery of her secret when Lilly exited the principal's office. She rushed to her side and walked out of the room, glancing back to see Mikayla watching them closely as they left.

Over the next few days, Miley thought hard about the things Mikayla had said to her. She decided that Mikayla was right about at least one thing: something had to be done. Lilly was obviously being affected by the stress and paranoia of having a secret relationship. Her fear of being forced out of her non-labeled closet was at an all-time high. It was eating away at her.

But what could Miley do? Going behind Lilly's back and talking to her parents wasn't an option. Even talking to Jackson or Oliver could be highly detrimental at this point. But what else was there to do?

The next weekend, Miley invited Lilly over to her house while Jackson was in LA. They were sitting on the couch watching a movie. They weren't touching, they weren't talking…just sitting. An awkward tension had formed a harsh silence between them.

Miley cleared her throat. "Do you remember the first time we watched a movie together?"

"You mean _Jaws_?" Lilly asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah. Do you remember?" Miley pressed.

Lilly stared at her. "I kind of just said the name of the movie we watched."

"Okay, well, do you remember how you felt that night?"

"I don't know. Excited? Why?"

"We were so…_passionate_ that night. We were happy and flirty. Everything felt so right. Being with you was the easiest thing in the world. But right now…we're not those happy, flirty girls. This is weird, Lilly. I feel awkward to be alone with you. It's never been this hard to talk to you."

"What do you want from me?" Lilly snapped. "You're the one who wanted this secret relationship. Don't _you_ remember in Tennessee when things were fine and happy and flirty and you made things difficult? I told you things would get bad."

"Well…fine. What do you want? Do you want to break up? Is that it? Do you want to see other people? Is this just not fun for you anymore?"

"No, it's not fun, Miley. It's not fun at all. I don't have time to be fun and flirty when I'm so busy covering up this relationship that you seem almost determined to tell everyone about. I don't want to breakup, I don't want to see other people, but I don't know what to do. I'm so tired. I'm tired of keeping us a secret."

Miley could feel the tears coming. She tried to fight them back. "This is going to sound like an ultimatum, but that's not what this is, okay? Lilly…you have to decide something, and only you can make this decision. We can't keep our relationship a secret if it's hurting you this badly. You need to decide what is best for you, okay? I'm not going to ask you to pick me over your family, I just won't. I will understand if you pick them. I will. Lilly, _I will understand_. So, you need to make a decision because I love you too much to let you keep hurting this way. Whatever is best for you, I want you to do that."

At some point they had both let themselves cry. They moved closer and held each other tight, their tears flowing. They stayed like that for a long time. Both of them knew what Lilly needed to do. They didn't need verbal confirmation.

Lilly sniffled and lifted her head off of Miley's shoulder. All of the crying had reddened her eyes, making them an even deeper blue. "You know I love you." Miley could only nod. "I love you so, _so_ much. But…they're my family."

"I know." Miley's voice was hoarse. "I know."

"I can't disappoint them like that."

"I know your situation, but you are not a disappointment, Lilly. You're the _best_ thing that ever happened to me. You found me when I was lost. I would probably be dead or in rehab right now if it weren't for you. I wouldn't have fallen in love with someone who was a disappointment."

"My parents aren't going to see that. My dad will see that you're a girl and then…"

"I'm not trying to convince you to change your mind." Miley choked back more tears. "I just wanted you to know that you are _not_ a disappointment."

Lilly broke down sobbing again. "I love you."

Miley pulled her in for long hug. "I love you, too."

After a while, Lilly pulled away. "Is this…is this it? Is this…are we really ending everything?"

"Hey." Miley took Lilly's hands in hers. "This…is not over for lack of love or commitment. This is just…a mutual understanding of how things need to be. It may not be what either of us wants, but it's what is best. Family is important. You're with them for the long haul. I'm just a girl. I come with…secrets and lies and trouble. This is what's best, we both know that. We gave it our best try, and it was good. _We_ were good. But we're going to do the right thing here. It's all going to be okay."

"I don't know if I can see you every day knowing that I can't kiss you…or hold you…or love you the way that I want to. How is that going to be okay?"

Miley hadn't considered what the aftermath of their breakup would mean for their friendship. "I don't know. Maybe our time together has run its course…completely."

Lilly blinked. "You don't even want to be friends?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what will be best for us. This isn't the easiest situation in the world here. I think that having no contact with each other will be easier for the both of us."

Slowly, Lilly nodded in agreement with fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry it's come to this."

"This isn't your fault."

"Well, it's not yours."

"It's no one's. There is no blame. We are two people coming to a mutual understanding of what is right. We are being adults. What we have—_had_ was amazing. I wouldn't go back and change a thing. I have no regrets, and you shouldn't either. We gave this everything we had, and I think that is what matters. But we have three months left before we graduate. You're going to Stanford, I'm going back to my music career…we were destined to breakup eventually."

"It seemed so far away."

"I know."

"I feel like there should be yelling and screaming. This is just really…sad."

"Yeah, I guess."

Lilly cracked a weak smile. "Whatever you do, just promise me you won't get with Mikayla."

Miley smiled back. "I promise."

Lilly's smile dropped. "This doesn't even feel real."

"I know."

"I feel like someone died."

"I know."

"I guess…this is really goodbye, huh?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is goodbye."

"I really do love you, Miley."

"I really love you, too."

"I'll miss you. A lot."

"Me too."

"Yeah. I guess…I guess I should go now?"

"Yeah, that would…that would probably be best."

"Are we sure that we're doing the right thing?"

Miley swallowed hard. "Do you really think that we aren't?"

Lilly's bottom lip trembled. "I'm not ready."

"We'll never be ready."

"I don't want to lose you."

"Neither do I."

Lilly took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Well, it was nice knowing you. I guess."

Miley nodded. "I guess it was nice knowing you, too."

Lilly stood and walked around the couch. She opened the door but couldn't step outside. After a few moments, she turned and said, "It wasn't about what was waiting on the other side. It was the climb. It was _our_ climb. That's what mattered."

And then suddenly the door was shut and Lilly was gone. The silence that followed was broken by a loud sob. Miley found herself curled up in a ball on the floor, her sobs shaking her whole body. She had never done something so hard in her whole life. The full weight of what had taken place was crashing down on her. The crippling silence drew out more tears. It was hitting her hard.

Lilly was gone. Her lover, her best friend, her savior. Gone. Everything they had built together, every secret, every kiss, every inside joke, every conversation, every memory, every touch…over. It was all _over_. They were _done_. Just like that, _everything was over._

And once again, she was alone.


End file.
